Tee time 3:00 today????

Dixie Red Hills Course was beautiful and warm... wish I had been there......




















Is it true????















This sure beats the snow and the buffalo in Rapid City. Thanks for taking me Gary.........












I had some people ask about the buffalo so I figured I would add it here. When I went to Rapid City (a year ago last Nov) the Finance Director there invited me and my boss to dinner. He has some buffalo and so we took this picture to let everyone in St. George know what they were missing out on up there. That is the story .....


And that is the picture......

Yippee .....more visitors

The Furners......

Today was very very special. This morning, one of my life long, very very special friends brought his family over and we had a tremendous visit. I found that Dan and his beautiful wife Susan (she hasn't changed a bit) have raised some wonderful kids who were very interested in our spiritual discussion as well as pretended to be interested in my "ramblings on" about myself (and those who know me, know that is my favorite subject). I really think his kids are great and I am so glad I got to know them (at least the 3 he brought). Libby, Catie, and now I will forever be mad at his boy (Sam) because he let me play with his I-phone and I want one bad....... Dan why did you tell him to go get it......lol.....now I am focused on figuring out how to get one. I think I will set up a fund at Zions bank that people can contribute to to help with my obsession..... I mean my medical stuff.... I mean.... well.... i will let you know what I work out. (Sorry if I didn't get the kid's names right)

I sure do appreciate Dan's friendship. We grew up together since I moved to Murray in the 6th grade. He was the best friend anyone could ever have asked for. He lived across the street but was a year younger in school. That never stopped us from developing a lifelong bond and even now I feel a closeness with him that I know will last way beyond this life. And his sweet wife is just as special. I know that the Lord will bless them because they are trying so hard to do hiswill as well. And thanks Susan for the uplifting story as well. They got us some lunch and his boy is a man after my own heart and jumped all over my suggestion of Cafe Rio. We sat out back in the beautiful St. George sunshine (about 55 degrees today) and had a great visit outdoors as well. I love it here in St. George (as I have mentioned) and this reminded me of at least one more reason why I am glad the Lord knows the bigger picture, didn't sell our house, and am happy to submit my will to his.

Anyway Dan and I have many many great memories of our childhood. In fact his wife referred to the stories she has heard of our childhood, as "our version of Camelot" and indeed looking back there were times where we had our Lancelots and Guniveres, our knights and tons of lovely maidens...... So the question I pose to you all that were there...... Who was King Aurthur?

Anyway thanks for fantastic visit. I sure love you guys too and I appreciated the visit more than I can express......

My day of independance

Ok, so...... today was a test and I passed with flying colors. Julie found out that her best friend (Angel Teresa) who saved her several times through this ordeal of mine, needs a return favor in Salt Lake. Teresa's father-in-law passed away and Teresa needs some help this time in return. We tried to figure out how to send the help virtually, but we couldn't see how without driving to Salt Lake. If you read my blog all the way through, you remember the last time I told Julie I would be fine if she went to Salt Lake (she needed to get away for a few days) I didn't do very well. In fact I bawled like a baby, called her cell phone, and made her come back a day early. So I knew I couldn't do that again if I was going to let her go again.

So today was a test. Dr. Barton's office called yesterday and said he wanted to get an echo-cardiagram done and they had scheduled it for 7:00 this morning. I decided I would use this as a test to see if I could be independant enough to convince myself she could leave for a couple of days. I called the hospital registration yesterday afternoon (myself), whispered through the registration (myself), got up at 5:30 am (myself), got dressed (yes myself and my levis... not pajamas), drove Justin to school (you guessed it), got to the hospital, checked in, had the test, drove home and got back in bed (myself) after we got Katie off to school and I finished rocking and reading. (This is not a hamburger commercial I promise).

So based on that, I feel like I am ready to try it again. Also if there is any need, my good friends from Salt Lake will be here this weekend and have agreed to back me up if needed. Plus I always can have Josh and Justin. But this past week has shown me that I can do a lot more than I could have done just a few weeks ago. At this time, I feel good and Julie is going to go help her friend in return.

No results from the tests yet, but the technician thought everything was good.

Rocking chair

Katie is off to school, I rocked in the chair till the sun came up. Read my scriptures and had a wonderful experience of warmth as I did. Life is good (even better at 8:00 than 4:00 am) and I know that I am loved. Just think of it though, if you are reading this then at least one person loves you too.........

I love you all.

Early morning thoughts

As I am sitting in my work chair this morning (4:00 am is too early for the rocking chair / sun experience), I am given a chance to reflect again on the wisdom and blessings of Heavenly Father in my life. We are working on the financial aspect of this situation and I am trying hard again to trust in the Lord on all things. When it appears as if the doors are closed to us and we begin to question the Lord, a different door opens and I am humbled again at my weakness in my ability to trust in him to take care of me. I have faith, but it is weak at times. Sometimes I am just plain weak in all aspects of my life.

I try and remember how bad I felt when I realized my lack of trust in the Lord as the doctor in Rapid City gave me the options for chemo treatment locations. He said that since my cancer was inoperable and uncurable I could basically get the treatment in Rapid if I wanted but to be "with family" and I had family in Salt Lake, I could get the treatment at the Huntsman Cancer institute. Or (and I remember well the strong witness I felt) I could go "home" to St. George and they had a fine facility there. When he said the words "home to St. George" I felt a small prick of the heart (maybe it was just a little bit in the lungs too....lol) as I realized how Julie and I had been frustrated and tried to counsel the Lord and explain to him that for almost a year we had done everything he had asked us to and yet we had no luck or help in selling our house. But all of a sudden I realized that because of his "bigger picture" ability I had a "home" (not just a house) to go to and it has been one of the greatest blessings in my recovery. Again I feel humbled and I decided I needed to express my feelings because I find myself wavering slightly when it does not seem like it can work out but I need to have faith that the right doors will open.

I do have faith and so instead today I am going to focus on the fact that I have been given one more day and one more chance to show my faith. I am working on it. Don't anyone give up on me. I am weak, but I am not going to give up either. It is going to be a beautiful day no matter what........
I love you all.....

Status update

Lots of changes and some will mess up plans I was making. On the other hand, it is going to open some opportunities that weren't there before. First the really good news. Dr. Te decided to postpone the chemo treatment this week until after the throat surgery on the 21st. So the good news is that it will give me another week and a half of feeling great. The bad news is that I had several things scheduled around the next good "third week" of chemo and it is all changed. So I now have to go back to the re-schedule mode but I will figure out how to make it work somehow. I am so excited to have another week of feeling good. I enjoyed last week so much. In fact last night after our Sunday dinner with Josh and Kirby, when they sat down to play games, I actually felt good enough to play with them. I have to admit, I was pretty worn out this morning and when we went to IV therapy for the tests, I fell asleep for about a half hour, but it was so worth it.

So as it stands now, the surgery is scheduled on the 21st and the next chemo treatment is scheduled for Thurs. the 29th. Sorry Judy, but let's figure out something. And Russ we may have to work the presentations around just a little bit if we can. I hope we have time.

As for my thoughts on all this. I am being blessed beyond belief and yesterday I was able to sit through all of church and even talked with a lot of people after the meeting. It was wonderful to be able to do it two weeks in a row. I now have set a new goal. I let Julie in on it last night and her reaction was positive so I just have to work hard. My next goal is to get doing well enough in the next month to set up a trip to Salt Lake. I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but for me it will be next to amazing and I am determined to do it. So get ready because I know I can do it and I am going to. I will keep you posted. In the meantime, I think that the Lord is giving me a chance to enjoy my family even more than last week. I plan on thinking of lots of good things to do with them this week amd next until my surgery.

I am so blessed sometimes I can't believe it.

More Sunday morning thoughts

I really enjoyed my rocking chair this morning. When the sun came up through the window today it seemed to be an especially bright color of white instead of yellow. I thought it seemed appropriate for Sunday and made me think about my blessings again. Particularly how lucky I am to have this third week after Chemo when I can enjoy some decent days and feel a little bit normal for a few days. So here is a little recap of some neat highlights.

It has been a marvelous week for me. Several people came and visited. I really enjoyed their visits including Cory and James from my old work. Then Friday when we just all went to lunch after my doctors it brought back a lot of memories (including Marc being too busy to join us....lol... we missed you Marc).

My uncle John (yes he is my uncle and we have always been close since we are the same age.)

stopped by on his way through to Mesa and we had a great chat too. I just love visitors on this third week. I am going to have to start scheduling more of them in advance. I truly do love people and the good spirits they bring here. I hope that in some small way I can lift their spirits like they do mine.

One of my friends from the City's golf course came over on New Year's eve to bring some of his mom's special cake for me. He knew I had cancer but wasn't aware it was lung cancer. We have been trying to get him to quit smoking for years now, and when he realized what I had it caught him a little bit by surprise and really shook him. He said he had been planning on quitting for a New Years' resolution. I told him if he needed any help to just think about what I was going through and it may help him quit. Well apparently it did more than that. When he stopped by this week to pick up his mom's pan, he said it really upset him for days and he couldn't sleep and would wake up in the night (if he ever got to sleep) with someone telling him he had cancer and was going to die and everything. I felt bad about that and I am glad that finally stopped for him but I told him it was one of the best things he could have done for me was to tell me he had no problem with the smoking now. I was ecstatic and I hope it keeps that way for him. I decided that if I can just help him to have a better, longer, happier life that I will feel truly blessed again to be able to use this challenge I have to help others focus on the important things. As my good friend Josh says.... What a blessing.

Katie had won a reward certificate from school for that Pirates Cove pizza place and yesterday mom told her she could take her two twin friends (also partially deaf) with her for lunch. At the last minute I decided there was absolutely no reason that I couldn't go with them so I did. It was so fun to feel somewhat normal. I ordered a salad bar and had some of Julie's breadsticks. They let us sit in this little enclosed area with a table for a small group in a little cove like area and it was just us in there which I really appreciated. So except for the fact that I was in my pajama bottoms, wearing slippers, with an oxygen tank wheeled in front of me, and an oxygen tube in my nose, a hat covering a bald head, and a coat on the whole time (it was a little cold inside), I felt just as normal as everyone else......lol..... Only a few kids stared at me, but it is funny how people don't know how to react to a cancer patient. I almost find it comical sometimes because I used to be one of those who didn't react well so I don't fault them. You don't know whether to look or smile or acknowledge their presence or what. Just a little note to you all. At least for myself I don't mind when someone smiles at me and nods or says hello. But it is amusing when people go out of their way to try and not even look. I assume they are trying not to call attention to the person and that is fine too I guess. Anyway I just saw that a lot yesterday. But bottom line, as for the outing it was tremendously fun. I love getting out and making memories now with my kids.

For breakfast this morning when Katie said the blessing on the food she thanked Heavenly Father for making the cancer get stopped and then she prayed that he would make the cancer go away. I decided I am going to go with her on that one. She has a lot of faith too and I want to hang on her faith for a while. She made french toast and set the table all by herself for us. I just love her. (Here she is with me at the deaf ward).


The rest of the week was full of good phone calls, lots of supportive e-mails and even a chance to reconnect with my cheerleading partner Darcy from High School. Talk about a good week. I sure love you all and I am really appreciating all of you more and more.

I hope you all receive the blessings in store for you in return for all you are doing for me.

Update on surgery

Doctor Barton seems to think that we are ok to go ahead so we after he talks with Dr. Te and Dr. Gardner we will get the surgery time locked in. Right now it will be some time on the 21st.

After the doctor I went to lunch with the guys from the City IT dept again. IT was just like old times again except Josh didn't tell any good jokes......

I had no idea

I have heard from a few people that they look forward to anything I write and I don't understand it, but I have been asked to keep sharing my thoughts no matter what I think about them so I will.

I had a follow up to the chair from yesterday. I sat in the same chair as yesterday and had a good thought strike me. Last night I made a change to my physical situation that made it possible for me to rock in the chair instead of just sitting in it. Without going into details I can get up and down now without triggering a massive spasm. So I enjoyed rocking in the chair this morning and I had a thought as the sun came up over the mountain today. Many people are like the chair. They have purpose they are meant to fulfill. We sometimes (for various reasons) don't allow them to achieve their full purpose. It isn't always on purpose (I never tried to "not rock") but when we don't allow people to fulfill their roles or desires to help or comfort us it hurts them too. Lots of people want to "do" things for me (us) and they really could give us lots of comfort and help, but occasionally our (my) pride prevents me from appreciating or allowing them to do all they can do (like rocking). I was so much happier this morning and enjoyed the view more and just basically had a better outlook on life simply because I was able to let the rocking chair fulfill it's true purpose and "rock me". Now the chair did not care one way or another, neither did it change at all from yesterday to today, but people do. I have not allowed some people to fulfill their purpose when they wanted to help or offer comfort and if you felt that from me I apologize. If anyone wants to try again I promise I will try harder next time and let you "fulfill your purpose".......lol.

Can't wait to "rock on" tomorrow........

This one was special for you Brooke (grin)

Voice / Throat surgery update

It looks like a doctor has no better luck getting another doctor to take new patients than we do. Dr. Gardner's office tried to get me to see an internal specialist but no luck. So instead I am going to see my good friend Dr. Barton who has been my regular doctor since we moved here to St. George almost 5 years ago. I have an appointment with him Friday. He will check me out for being ready and if the doctors agree I will have the surgery on Wed the 21 of this month. With any luck you all may "hear" from me again. Watch out for that......lol..

Thought on a "good chemo" week

This is the third week after my chemo treatment. I get two weeks to feel different levels of bad and then one week to recover and pretty much "feel better". This has allowed me to think about many things and I have been reflecting, reading, e-mailing, and praying a lot. I was sitting in our rocking chair in the front room after helping Katie get to school and I watched the sun come up through the windows. As it slowly rose over the red cliffs out front, and the bright light hit my eyes I felt like I should have some great thing come to my mind. It didn't. All I could think about is how blessed I am to be here still. I have had visits with my Bishop, lots of e-mail conversations with people and read some of the books people have given me about people who are in similar situations such as "Tuesdays with Morrie" and "The Last Lecture". Through all this, it has helped me to remember that everyone is different, but in one respect everyone is the same. We all leave this world the same way and no one can take more "stuff" with them than anyone else. Just the memories, relationships, love, and learning. So what do I think? When I started thinking about all this Sunday morning, I felt pretty much the same way, but I wanted to know the "end result". I know they say you have to take one day at a time, but it is hard for me not to have a plan or goal. It is hard to not know how long you have left either. I know we all have "limited" time and no one really knows, but in my case, it has been narrowed down a little and brought closer to home. It starts to affect every decision in a different way.

For instance yesterday I saw a laptop on a dealsight. I have been concerned that I might lose access to my laptop and as I helped a friend order one for them, I thought maybe I could talk one of the businesses I help with computer stuff into fronting me the money and taking it out of my monthly checks. Then I realized that I can't even promise them I will be around long enough to pay it off in work performed. I can't even be sure I will be able to work or even be here for 6 months. It affects everything I think about now and it is hard to adjust.

I do know that the visits and e-mails from a lot of you are the only thing that keeps me going sometimes. Other times it is looking up from my chair and having my wife be right here in the room with me. Somehow the Lord knows just what I need, when I need it. It gets hard sometimes and other times it is unbelievably emotional. At those times, I am so lucky to be able to recognize my blessings. I have an amazing family, an absolutely divine wife, great friends who would do anything for me, and a second chance to connect and recall great memories and try and make new ones. The Lord has blessed me greatly and sometimes I feel bad when I get depressed about it. Still I am human and sometimes an ungrateful human being, but I will never again take my life in general for granted, as I almost lost it and know I was preserved for something. I suppose at this point I will just be patient, try and be in tune, and do whatever the Lord wants me to. Starting with my family I intend to try and keep making good memories, connecting, and sharing whatever I can with everyone. Right now as Morrie say it is all about "love". Love or perish as he was fond of saying. I intend to love more than ever. I always have, I just sometimes forget how to show it. I am going to keep working on that.

Thanks to everyone who has worked hard to help and support me these past few days. I really needed you and you were there.

I love you all (even if I forget to tell you)

Sunday morning thoughts

First let me say that I had another miracle last night. For the first time in months, I was blessed with a decent night's sleep. I used to take that for granted but now (as many other people have expressed) a good night's sleep is something that used to be but a memory and something I wished I could experience once again. Amongst my many prayers for health and blessings I have been praying for, several included that request for a good night's sleep and I am grateful for it like I never thought I would be. To me another small miracle that most take for granted. I have had many share with me directly their similar night time difficulties and I hope that someday the Lord will bless them with some relief. But thank you Lord for mine.

Again friends have brought some wonderful experiences into my life that I never thought I would be a part of and I only want to share a few thoughts about some of them and due to the sacred nature of some experiences I won't go into detail, but I want to share some thoughts that I have this morning because of them. I have been praying a lot to try and find out what the purpose of my being given a second chance here on earth is and what purpose the Lord has for me. I obviously am well aware of my "family" opportunities and if that is the main purpose it is enough for me. To have a chance to experience the past 4 months in the manner that I have with them (family) is something that one special friend from high school I talked with (facebook) yesterday at length would have given anything to have had with his wife before she passed from cancer as well. I learned again how blessed I am to have been given this time.

I hope I help many people learn to refocus back on what is truly important. You often hear people do that little saying "if you were told you had 6 months to live what would you do?". I hope that after reading my words, some are encouraged to think on how they can be more with their family and friends, building memories and strengthening relationships. From someone who has been given (to a degree) that very real life opportunity, I assure the important things I used to focus on before mean little or nothing. As I re-read what I have written here, I realize that this great blessing of time is a miracle that even as I was going through it I didn't realize exactly how valuable it was (many of you did and told me so) but I am now even more grateful as I re-read some of my entries.

I guess this is a new year's reflection time for me and I could just shout out loud, Thank you Lord for allowing me to be here in the new year. I actually did that somewhat in my prayers this morning. So now I am reflecting on what now, and I would be curious to know what others think as well. What would you do? I think I have shared enough personal insight into my life at this point to ask this. What should I do? I know it is a bit off the norm but I am curious if anyone wants to share (either here in the comments or to my e-mail) what your thoughts are. I am not the kind of person that can sit here now and say that is enough (although family is the central focus), I believe that the Lord wants me doing more as well. If anyone gets a chance, I would love to hear your thoughts on any of this.

Again I wanted to express my appreciation to my friends, my parents, Uncle Lou and aunt Emily, and family that joined me on my week of football enjoyment. Again family memories that mean so much. I am trying to make the most of everyday and that week will certainly be memories that we all will take with us I know.

I also thank my Heavenly Father for my time again. After my talk yesterday with Hal G. (thank you again Hal) I realized how important my extra time is and I am so grateful for it. Everyday is a miracle and a blessing that I am so appreciative of. Thanks to each of you for also your prayers that I know have been a good part of the reason I am being blessed so much.

Did I really see it ??????

UTAH FANS at my PARTY
Utah: 31 Alabama: 17

I am not sure I actually saw it but I did. I am so glad I had someone to watch that amazing miracle with. It would have just been a total shame to see that miracle game by myself. Instead, I had my best friends, parents, relatives, my two boys (and Kirby, but she only likes the band stuff) again at uncle Lou's house and it was everything I could have hoped for. I guess I know how bad the good Lord knew I needed friends and family around me.
It was important. I know this picture is not the best, but it shows you a little of my party.

Voice / Throat surgery update

The surgery that was scheduled on Jan 7th to fix my throat and voice has been postponed. Apparently no internist in St. George is willing to take new patients and the throat doctor does not want to do the surgery until he is sure everything else is ok. So I am waiting to hear what they want to do next. But it is still going to happen I think. Targeting the end of Jan now.

Almost forgot New Years' Eve update

I almost forgot to share the other side of my New Year's eve experience. We tried to wake our sleeping kids up for midnight (was never gonna happen) and then just watched the "time square ball" drop. I got out of my chair, walked over to my wife and gave her a totally welcome hug and then one of the sweetest kisses I have ever experienced. Then we started dancing slowly with the T.V. people while they played the traditional "Auld Lang Sine" sp?. I have never ever thought I would experience an emotional New Year's Eve. Usually I am partying hearty, I find my wife, a quick kiss and bang some pans and right back to partying. But last night, I all of a sudden realized that Heavenly Father had allowed me one more second chance. I had set a goal to "live" until 2009 (I realize it is only because God is allowing it) and I had just reached it. Yes, I started bawling like a baby again. I tried to minimize this breakdown to just a few minutes.

Then we stepped out the front door with my UofU blankie wrapped around us and watched the St. George fireworks (we could just see the tops of them over the beautiful red cliffs in front of our house when they went off and it was really fun). Then we went in and went to bed and I prayed another very sincere personal prayer of gratitude after Julie drifted off to sleep.

Party continued

NEW YEAR'S DAY PARTY TRADITION continues....... 15 years... but this time only one TV instead of 3......lol


Yep I made it all day even till the end of the Rose bowl (maybe that wasn't worth it). There were tons of people and lots of food. After years of doing this, I guess it is just something that I have to do to be happy. Uncle Lou and my Dad got the little smokies and meatballs, mom made a special spinach salad, Aunt Emily through some veggie together and some fruit salads. And I made my famous sausage dip. Lots and lots of candy and left over Christmas junk food. It was great. Some of them played games and one of Uncle Lou's boys, Eric, came over and watched the games with us for a while. Now we are resting up to get ready for Utah's game tomorrow. It might take me all day too...lol..

My good buddy Zane drove all the way down from Logan today to join us.....

The game playing crew....


Uncle Lou who let us crash his place.....

My Dad got worn out just watching.....lol

Me and Josh (he decided to play computer games instead so he just dropped by for a bit)....



You know sometimes you think some things are coincidental, but the way that all the pieces fell into place so that this party came together including the fact the weather cleared up so my parents could come down, was certainly beyond coincidence in my mind.

Party on.....

Visits from Angels on this side:

I have had quite a few inspirational visits from a lot of really neat people and I greatly appreciate it. One of my good friends from High School, Gary Bolingbroke came down from Cedar a couple of days ago and we talked for hours. We shared a lot of memories but also reinforced each other with stories and discussion of inspiration. It is amazing how you can find positive things in any situation. Thanks for that Gary.

NEW YEAR'S HOPES:

So in a moment of almost desperation, I asked my Uncle Lou if I could maintain my tradition of watching Football on New Year's day with him at his house. He agreed and the wheels went into motion. Next thing I know, my folks decide to drive down, and then a dear friend from way back (Zane W.) decides to drive down from Logan today to join the party too. So I went from total depression to total "fun times" in one day. I think that maybe, it is an attempt to make up for the depressing Christmas time I went through. We are right in the middle of the Rose Bowl and it has been great. I will fill in more details later. The rest of them came over and are playing new games we got for Christmas. More details later, but I wanted to tell everyone that has motivated me to make the effort for this party. The tradition has continued.

More Graitude

I know that a lot of times when you single out individuals and express gratitude, you run the risk of not mentioning someone that you should. But with a pre-emptive apology to those that may find themselves in that situation (not mentioned here) I do have to express our gratitude to a few individuals because of their focus on my wife. In particular, the women in the Relief Society. They have been incredibly supportive of my wife and like I mentioned before, she does not get the same focus because most of the time the focus is on me. But the RS presidency have been there for her whenever needed. Beyond that, Julie is extrememly blessed (and by extension so am I) to have sweet Marsha as her VT companion. I can not say enough how much we appreciate everything she has done for Julie and our family. Marsha is one of those spiritually gifted and inspired people who just show up when needed everytime. When Julie is struggling with anything, Marsha show up at the door with a plant or a candle or some little "lift me up" gift that is just what she (or even I) need.

In fact I will be wrapped up in my "now famous" UofU blanket Friday night thanks to Marsha's quilt making efforts. The day of the TCU game, she somehow found out about my UofU support need and just went out, made the quilt and delivered it in time for the game. That "blankie" now goes everywhere with me. That was only a start and I wanted to let her know (as well as everyone else that has done those "little" things) how much we appreciated your efforts in a "big" way. She also monitored it very closely to make sure our Christmas was as perfect as could be and she made sure Santa was aware of our needs and fulfilled them.

We have angels on the other side of the veil waiting until we need them, but we have even more angels like Marsha on this side of the veil who aren't waiting to be asked. There are many others like Marsha, and I apologize for not being able to share all the miracles and experiences (on this blog) from you all, but know that we love you for it and I pray that your rewards will come in a way that you recognize the good things that come from your service.

Thank you to everyone for your love prayers and acts of service and kindness.

More out of the closet

DINNER and A HIKE - GOOD TIMES

Last night we put on something besides my pajama bottoms again which is a real good indication that I went out someplace other than the hospital. My wife even got me some new levis that actually fit too. The whole family (I can't believe how often this is happening lately) went to Golden Corral and it was superb.


I had a great appetite and the food actually tasted great and I had taken the necessary preparatory drugs that allowed me to stay for a good long time and eat well. Really helped make up for the rough week. Thanks to everyone for coming (including Grandma and Grandpa).




Then this morning, everyone decided that the weather was so nice, they wanted to go hiking in Snow Canyon so they did. The whole family again, only we thought it might be a little too tough for me still so I went "in spirit". As beautiful as Snow Canyon is, it isn't hard to imagine me there in spirit, eh?




They had a great time, but when Grandma and Grandpa left to go back to Salt Lake, unfortunately Brittany had to go with them. Sadness in the air........waaa. It was marvelous to have her here.

Late night thinking

Tonight is a night for re-appreciation. It is sometimes hard to think past the now and appreciate the past in order to make the future the best that it can be (wow...... deep eh?). I have been sitting here for a while (working on computer things while I contemplate) thinking about the blessings in my life. While this has been a little bit of a rough week, I can't let it go on without remembering some basic truths.
1) I am still here with my family.
2) I know that whatever happens is being guided by a higher power that loves me more than I can ever comprehend.
3) I have the most dedicated and loving wife who has stood by me through very difficult times and has promised to be with me forever.
4) I know that even though I have made many mistakes in my life, I have a strong knowledge that I can still have them wiped clean and be able to live with my Father in Heaven again

This Christmas week was not what I thought it would be at all. You always hope that everything is happiness and good times at Christmas and while I knew that that was somewhat unlikely, I was not prepared for the total exhaustion that this round of chemo hit me with. It made it seem like the most "un"-Christmas time I could have imagined. But then a couple of things happened that made me start to re-evaluate the week. I watched my sweet wife experience happiness today, at a higher level than she has been able to for a while. Her best friend (Teresa) and her husband came down again and made everything all better. Then her mom and dad came down from Salt Lake too and we had dinner. I listened to her playing games out in the kitchen (like we used to do every Sunday night) and laugh for hours like there was no worries in her life for a while. No sickly cancer patient husband, no toxic laden (chemo residual) messes to clean up, no special laundry trips for the blankets, no special medicines to get ordered, no bottles to drain the fluid from the lungs, no changing the bandages on all the surgeries, no oxygen tanks to order, no trips back to the hospital for emergencies..... I could go on, but I realized again what an angel the Lord has blessed me with and how un-grateful and selfish I can be.

Please Lord forgive me for my selfishness. Please give her more happiness than she deserves.....

Please help me to be more appreciative of others.

REWIND:

Josh H. brought over the present on Christmas Eve that I mentioned before. It is a beautiful painting that has a very special meaning behind it, but more importantly it is special because of who it comes from. Megan you have become quite an inspiration to me and I want everyone to know that you are. I have only met you formally a couple of times (Josh keeps me informed of how wonderful you are too) but I want to thank you for your gifts and your inspiration. I have the painting hanging on the wall right next to my chair and I look at it all the time. The image of the little girl and the handcart to me probably means something different than others, but I see you in her as well. I see someone who is ready to take on the challenge she has been given, no matter how daunting it may seem. But she is not afraid. She knows she has angels to help her and I also know that too. This may not have been all that your Dad put in the painting, but it is what I have come to see in it and it gives me daily strength. Thank you again for my gift.

Well I am going to try and get back after the positive side of all this in the morning, but while I had so much going on in my mind, I wanted to put it out there.

*******************

Oh ya and Brittany ( my oldest daughter) came down with Grandma and Grandpa and how I have missed her too. It reminds me of the "Night Before Christmas" story as my three girls are all snuggled in Katie's bed with visions of .... something, dancing in their heads. They are all a joy to me. I truly love my family. Hugs and kisses for her. Yippee.

Rough week

It has been a rough chemo recovery week. I will be back as soon as I can be positive. Sorry....

Christmas update

Well, it is late Christmas night. Everyone is in bed. Another batch of memories and experiences are tucked away for us to draw on. Although it wasn't quite what I had hoped for, I am so thankful I am here. It was a little rougher through the chemo this time and it made it somewhat difficult to participate, but I did my best and it was still a great Christmas thanks to all the help and support we got from everyone. Since I am sitting in my work / chair reminiscing on the day, and hoping I can get a little more sleep tonight sometime, I will do my best to share some of the wonderful things that people did for us and not focus so much on the other parts of my day (although lots of people keep wanting to know so I will try and be honest about it).

Josh Haycock came over with a wonderful present from he and his wife Megan. I cherish it more than you will know. It was truly inspired and made me cry (in fact I am starting to cry again just thinking of it). It is too special for words and I can't thank you enough.

One of Shawn Guzman's daughters (Shawn is the City attorney here in St. George) remembered Katie from an encounter at the pool a while ago and decided to come visit with her Dad and bring a fun gift for her. It was so neat to think that she would want to do that for her and Katie just fell in love with it. I hope that their friendship can continue (the gift included continued internet interaction) and I think it will. Thanks to Shawn for helping teach kids the value of caring for others and friendships. Just shows you that there is hope for some attorneys I guess.


One major Christmas tradition here is Mom's Christmas Eve soup dinner. She makes several different kinds of soups (most famous for her Print Shop cheese soup) and tons of soft breadsticks for dipping. We get out all the Christmas place settings. It is most memorable and we have been doing it for years. Even though I had been in bed most of the day so far, nothing was going to keep me from my place at the table for this one. I hobbled out and had a taste of the soups and it was delicious. Way to go Julie. Another great Christmas eve dinner. And thanks to Nicole for her help or it may not have happened because Julie actually got called into work earlier in the day.

Santa somehow found his way to our house and in the morning, it was nothing short of awesome. Thanks again to all of Santa's helpers (you know who you are), we had an incredible morning (mostly watching Katie open another present and saying "this is unbelievable" and "I just love it"). The hit of the morning was a stuffed animal hippo that she would not let out of her sight all day. It is her favorite and she is so cute with it. (Good call someone). Just so you know, our Christmas is a very early one. We usually hold the kids back till 6:00 (yes a.m.) and that is as long as we have been able to manage. Our gift opening is usually over by 8:00 and everyone goes off to admire the spoils, enjoy the new games or in the case of the parents, go back to bed. Josh and Kirby actually made the trek over here in the dark at 6:00 so that the tradition could continue (sorry Kirby). I managed to sit out in the chair in the front room for the entire time, but barely felt good enough to open a couple of my presents. I didn't even empty my stocking, but it was fun to watch everyone else. Back in bed by 9:00 as predicted. Spent most of the day there too.

I knew that funds were limited for me so I decided that this year since I had been given a second chance to share memories with my family, that that is what I would do. So I started writing a memory letter to each of the kids and my wife for their presents this year and it was the hardest thing I have ever done. IT has taken me weeks to finish and lots of tears. I had lots of memories and I shared my testimony with each of them, but it seemed like the letters were turning into a farewell and "last will" type thing, and I do not believe we are quite there yet. But it was still the hardest thing I think I have ever done. I was very glad to have a chance to tell each of them how I feel about the gospel and my testimony of the Savior. I have not done that the way that I should have in the past so I am grateful for that "second chance". We told the kids that they could wait and read the letters later if they chose and the older kids (and Julie) probably will wait. (Oops now Brittany knows what she is getting when she comes down with Grandma and Grandpa Sunday.....lol). We are really hoping she can still come down and missed her a lot today.

So overall, I felt truly blessed today (even though this chemo "downer" is a lot harder than the last two). I am blessed because I have my family with me, my knowledge of the Savior at this time of his celebration, and especially the faith that I am doing what the Lord wants me to do and I am happy to accept his will. Nothing more could I ask for than that.


Trying to look happy.....is it working????

Merry Christmas. I hope this helps you appreciate what gifts you received from friends and the Lord in your life too.

City of St. George

Sometimes when you need to be reminded of all the good people around you and the good in them, it humbles you to the point where you can only try and express appreciation to them any way you can. So this post is to shout out to all the awesome employees at the City of St. George (that I worked with for three years). I had been notified that they were collecting food for us and others but then they went overboard and stopped by yesterday (while I was getting chemo) with some tremendous wrapped gifts for our kids. Although they are a little older (Justin and Katie are 15 and 10), we all remember that age and how important is sometimes to get a gift or two under the tree on Christmas. Well thanks to the great people at the City of St. George, they will have several (lots actually) and we have food for Christmas and some to put away for storage as well.


This is again a difficult thing for a proud person like myself to accept, but I am learning that it is more for others to be able to give, than for me to focus what I can't provide at this point. I know that Christmas brings this out in most people, but it again proves to me that the people at both the City of St. George as well as the people of the City of Rapid City (I greatly appreciated their fundraiser as well which is still paying for some of the expensive medicine I need) are some of the best people on this earth.

I don't know how to express it, but I am grateful and say thank you from all of us in my family to each one of you. Merry Christmas and with acts of kindness like this, Christ is definitely central in our Christmas. God has blessed me with a second chance to make memories, learn humility, and experience amazing insight, and not many get this opportunity.

THANK YOU ALL and MERRY CHRISTMAS

Nicole's B-day party

Morning presents for Nicole before chemo.



Josh gave a mighty solo rendition of Happy Birthday that rattled the rafters.



Wish I could have gone with them to the pizza place. I might have been able to stop them from getting tatoos and letting Nicole start drinking now that she is legal...lol.



She is 21 now and decided to prove it.......(she turned into a drinkin' lush....pretty sure it isn't alcoholic, but you never know)

Post Chemo....

So I am sitting in my chair (at home) watching the Jazz game and thought I would share a little of the chemo day with you. We first had presents and sang Happy Birthday to Nicole and then she drove me to the IV therapy room at the old hospital where I get the chemo treatment.

Roz (one of the great nurses there) saved me the really soft chair. My port was already "accessed" from yesterday so she basically started by giving me the pain meds and anti-naseau to help me make it through. Then she started hooking up the bags . Saline bags first and then the first chemo solution. They have to do them one at a time, in order, and give everything time to work so that my body can handle it all right.

Now sit and sit and sit.

I checked in at 9:30 this morning and when Julie finished her work and came to get me at around 3:30 pm I was still about an hour from being finished. They put the last chemo bag (I get 2 different kinds of chemo each time) on the IV tree stand and "let er rip" and Julie climbed on the bed they had next to my chair and slept for a while too. What do I do the whole time? They have a TV I can watch but today I read my book and listened to my christmas music on my MP3 player till the benedryl kicked in and I actually was able to sleep for about 2 1/2 hours real well. It is basically boring when they get it hooked up and running but depending on how the body reacts to the chemo, you have to visit the bathroom often (usually 2 or 3 times for me each time) and if you feel up to it, you try and get whatever food and / or (especially) fluids you can into your body to flush the chemo out.

Now I just go home and wait for either bad times in the next few days or whatever comes. The rest of the family went to a new Pizza restaurant place for Nicole's birthday (some new Pirate place here in St. George) so when they get back I will add pictures. I really wanted to go (and almost did) but I think that would be pushing it too far tonight (and not really smart either).

Church again

Wow, I am really pushing it now..... I went to church for the first time since the surgery last Oct. Julie sang in a trio and Nicole accompanied on her flute with Justin accompanying on his cello. It was beautiful. They did a great job and I lasted just until they were done singing (halfway through the meeting). Then I went out and sat in the foyer where I could stand up if I needed (I did need several times) and the chairs were much softer. I did real well out there, but by the time I got home, I figured I was done for.... and I was. Slept most of the day and could barely get up to eat dinner. Wow what a weekend. I am so glad cause now I get to get back into the other part of my life now..... test, more tests, chemo, sleep, recover etc.... oh and somewhere in there we are going to squeeze in Christmas and New Years.

Thanks to everyone who helped me out this weekend. It was full of great memories.

More family time before "chemo-ing" it up again....

My next chemo session is scheduled for Tues so we are trying to take advantage of the good days I am having now. I don't like having it scheduled 2 days before Christmas (and on Nicole's birthday), but I guess you have to do what they tell you sometimes. It could make Christmas a rough time if I hit my rough days early, but I hope there is a delay so I can enjoy some family time on Christmas.

Since we are trying to come out of the "chemo closet" we decided to go to the Tuacahn Nativity trip with the deaf branch tonight. Here in St. George, one of the neatest things is the Tuacahn theater and every year they do a live Nativity program with live animals and everything. It is a great outdoor theater in the heart of a canyon with an amazing "southern utah" red cliffs backdrop. We try and go every year but I did not think I would be going this year. The deaf branch scheduled tonight for an activity and so we decided to give it a try.

I rested all day to get ready and and took my oxygen, bundled up warm and off we went. They have a little train that takes you around the back lot and when the deaf branch went on it, Nicole (she is such a sweetheart as well as a certified interpreter) "signed" the little narration on the train for the deaf people and I got to finally get a picture of her "doing her thing".

Then we went into the theater and enjoyed the Nativity program. It was a little bit hard because the deaf group (they are awesome) sits way in the front (can you say a bazillion stairs) and for Katie, we get to sit with them. Tonight, it wasn't a blessing for me to have to climb all the stairs, and it was kinda cold, (we did dress warm) but it is a good thing to have the "somewhat" reserved seats.

When we got home I hurried and took some pain pills, climbed into my sleeping /chair and turned on the BYU bowl game (sorry Cougs) that we had recorded. As soon as the medication kicked in and I felt recovered, I realized that this might be why I was given a chance to stay here on earth a little longer. Even through the pain, I felt the spirit of the Christmas message and felt strengthened again by the angels on this side of the veil. It was a wonderful experience for us as a family and some great memories were made again. I just never made enough of these memories before. (Really missed Brittany tonight, but you were there in my heart babe.....We really love you and Clint).

I love my family very much and I have never been closer. Thank you God for my second chance. I am going to make the most of it till ..... well as long as I can. I promise you all. It was so neat, I can't sleep now. Oh well, I will just enjoy the spirit as long as I can.

Just for Nicole

Go BYU tonight. Yes I will be cheering with her for them tonight. I can see no harm in it and she did drive all the way down to be with us so it is the least I could do.......and never let it be said......(some of you know the rest of that......)

Nicole is here.....yippeeeee

My daughter Nicole finished her finals and drove down from Salt Lake this morning. She just walked in the door and it will be so fun to have her here (she does the dishes a lot for us....lol) and we are going to bake cookies and watch the Santa Clause movies and everything. Yippeeeeeee. I am really excited for Christmas. I am a total Christmas nut and I am so grateful I have been given a chance to spend at least one more (hopefully a lot more) with my family.

I don't know what the future will bring, but the present is doing real good at this point with all things considered. At least I am here and with my family for the holidays. Thanks to prayers from everyone and miracles, I am stil here.....(gotta stop before I start tearing up again).

Now she (Nicole) is out playing christmas music on her flute which she hasn't played for a while and Julie is accompanying her on the piano....... I LOVE Christmas.

So where did my voice go??? Surprise!

Just got back from the ENT (ear nose and throat) doctor and i still detest having things shoved through my nose and down my throat like scopes with little lights on them. (Just thought I would reassure those that questioned it).

THE GOOD NEWS and BAD NEWS:

The good news is he thinks he knows what caused me to lose my voice. The bad news is that it might require surgery to fix it. The good news is that we are scheduling the surgery after the holidays. The bad news is that because of everything else wrong with me it is more risky and potentially dangerous than most people. The good news, I am used to that anyway.......ok I will get to it now.

THE CAUSE:

He believes that some of the cancer may have killed one side of my vocal chords (or at least the nerve) so it doesn't close completely to touch the other side when I try and talk. It also affects my ability to eat and especially drink liquids (I have noticed this and just learned to live with it and be careful). But even this puts me at risk so they feel that the surgery is justified even though for me it is more risky than most people (since it already is a risk without it).

THE SURGERY:

The surgery will consist of going down my throat and injecting some substance into the right side of the vocal chords to push the side that is dead, closer to the point where the two sides meet so that it touches when it is supposed to. In other words the left side that works right will come in and actually touch the right side because it has been shoved a little closer manually. (make sense?) It actually did to me but I had to have a picture because I have been a manager too long.

THE RISK:

There are actually several concerns, but the biggest one is the medicine (Coumadin) I am taking for my blood thinning due to the clot they found in my left arm the second time I was in the hospital. I am going to have to stop taking that for 5 days so the clot risk returns but it will be done in the hospital where they can monitor that one closely. The problem is that the risks associated with the blood could also come into play in a week or two after as well so I have to be very careful. To be honest there were other risks and they want me to go see an internist first to be sure that all the other factors from all the other surgeries is stabilized enough so if anything is not good we will call it off until it is.

COORDINATION:

On top of that........ we have to try and fit it inbetween chemo treatments so that I can do it when I am on the best "upswing" weeks between the chemo. Fun times.

Any questions just leave me a comment and I will have my secretary get right back to you.

Brothers...

Almost forgot.....happy birthday to my big brother Kelly and my little brother is now out of my will cause he never told me about his plans for his store..... had to find out from someone else. Too bad Dan, I bet you could have used the $20......lol.

Fun times today

So we tried it out and it was fun fun fun. Julie and I went to Walmart. Our experience was a little bit different than Megan's (might have been the time of day). It wasn't very crowded and I had a great time racing around in those little electric cars (played "chicken" with several others and I always won.... they were all old fogies) and found all the stuff I wanted to get for Christmas (mostly candy......lol). Then we stopped at Subway and I forgot how good those Subs can be when you have been eating in a lot (not that Julie hasn't been feeding me good).

Stopped at City Hall to get a paper notarized and ended up seeing lots of people so it took longer than anticipated. Made one other stop to get some presents and when i finally got home, I was tired but oh so happy. Back to back days out for fun and a date with my wife today. I fell asleep in less than 5 minutes but smiling from ear to ear.

Good times. Anxious to see where I can dream up tomorrow..... maybe we will drive to Vegas and drop some serious change........

Coming out of the "chemo" hibernation.....

Julie and I have decided that we are going to take the recommendation of several of the doctors we have seen and change our attitude towards "isolation". Also in talking with Josh H. a little about his wife again (I really appreciate her inspiration to me) that I need to get out a little more from now on. Up till now, we have been very careful (and without knowing how I would handle chemo, it was the right thing to do) and I have not gone out in public hardly at all. I haven't even gone to church.

But we are going to slowly change that somewhat and I am going to get out more. Dr. Rawson (in Rapid City) tried to help us understand that way of thinking in the very first discussion, but it is hard to not want to totally protect yourself. He explained that with certain basic precautions, I can still live a "life" and not become a total recluse. So no "reclusing" for this guy any more. We will be careful and avoid sickness where ever possible and washing hands will become a total obsession, but I have decided to come out......of my chemo closet (actually just when my antibodies are built back up after treatment so it will still be somewhat limited).

So if you have any really cool events that you think I should attend (like the Sugar Bowl or actually any bowl game, the NBA championship, departmental Christmas party or whatever.....), just send an e-mail to my secretary and we will see if I can work it into my new schedule ...lol.

Just thought I would share that with you today. I am still up for visitors occasionally as well. Just call first and make sure it is not the bad week of chemo (when I try and be a little more careful or am too tired). Thanks to everyone who has been over to see me in between the bad weeks, and especially to my home teacher in the hearing ward (Bro. Jennings) who has seen to it that they bring the sacrament to me every week. I really appreciate all the efforts made in my behalf.

I love you all very much.

(I doubt I will be going to the Sugar Bowl, but I will be watching for Alma and the others that are.... GO UTES......)

Party on dude.........

******** CHRISTMAS PARTY - ST. GEORGE IT DEPARTMENT


You know just when you need it most, good friends come through. I got a call yesterday (had a pretty rough time with the reality of "no miracle") and my old co-workers from the City here invited me to their department Christmas party luncheon. I was thrilled to say yes but I knew I would have to convince Julie to let me go. It turned out she was actually in favor and encouraged me to go. So I went and talk about a great therapy program. Tons of great food (and they didn't make me bring anything), Wii games on the huge overhead projector, and the best friends and company anyone could ask for. I really needed the change and the company. Totally therapeutic.



Thanks goes out to the great IT department here in St. George. They really know how to show an old co-worker a good time........ they were awesome and I am ready to go after it again. Now ....pictures......


Don't forget to check out the "Christmas Story" leg lamp on the table (only Josh H. would have one...lol) It was also "frajeelay".......

Weather on the way to doctor's

Snowing???



It is starting to snow......in St. George????

Scan results

While driving to the doctor's, we were in the middle of a snow storm and it was cold and gloomy. I thought this had better not be an indication of the news and luckily it was not.....

Went to the doctor Te's office for the results. He is pleased from a doctor's point of view. I should be too (and I am) but I had allowed myself to get hopeful that he would say "hmm where did all the cancer go.... it is all gone?". Guess what he didn't say that.... darn it. The areas that were prevalent in the last scan all showed "no uptake" which meant that their choice of chemo had stopped all cancer growth in those areas (and they did not identify any new areas) that had been a concern. This is actually incredibly good news and I am pleased to a point but it was unfortunate that I allowed my hopes to get so high (little let down now).

Where from here? The best course of action with these results (unfortunately) is three more treatments and a scan.... (I smell a pattern coming on....lol). So while it is not the "miracle" we all look for in these situations (right fellow cancer people), it is actually a miracle for me that it stopped the growth. We may not ever get rid of it (so the medical doctors warn) but at least I have had some success for which I am truly truly thankful.

I will write more later when I have had time to get used to the news, but I wanted all of you to know as soon as I could.

We have an inch of snow on our front lawn. This is supposed to be St. George folks.... come on.....

Followers...

I have to admit, I am still learning a little about this blog site and I noticed the followers at the bottom. I didn't understand it when I put it on originally (I thought it looked cool and I am game for anything cool). But since I read up on it finally, I wanted to just note that I moved it up where I could see it and I wanted to thank those of you who put yourself on there. I didn't realize some of you even knew about this but when I saw some of you, it made me smile and as I get feeling better, I will get back to you as soon as I can.

Thanks again to everyone for their support and prayers. (Pray for my kids too.... several are going through finals.....ahhhhhhhhhhh ..... the memories). I am glad that part of my life is over but it does remind me of a joke. You know why old people start doing their geneology and going to the temple so much......."cramming for their finals too".......lol (ok sorry it is too early in the morning... can't sleep waiting for scan results....just groan and move on)....

(for Judy and Matthew.... Fee Fie Foe - Fee Fee Fie Fie.)

Weekend of waiting

Some of our friends from Salt Lake came down to visit a little this weekend. It was great to see them and helped take my mind off the upcoming results of my scan. Justin had a performance with a string quartet yesterday and Julie decided I could go to this one because there wouldn't be as many people there and I really wanted to see my boy perform. It was great. He is truly gifted on the cello and he proved it again. He did great and I was really glad I got to go. Way to go Justin.

Wow what a trip back to the 70s

This morning, I didn't have any doctors or tests or anything so I decided to catch up on some DVR stuff. A while ago I recorded the Osmond's 50th anniversary tour thing on PBS and so I decided to watch it. Wow what a trip...... but the thing that was really funny is when they were singing the song "Long haired lover from Liverpool", Julie started to sing right along with them and really getting into it. Turns out she and Suzanne (her sister) were all caught up in Osmond mania back in the 70's. I had heard a few stories, but I learned some more about my angel wife after 25 years. Glad I only bought their Christmas album. Scary.

It took 3 of them to bring me in.....

I hear a knock on the door.... it is louder than the UPS guy. I look out the window..... oh no it is the cops...... what do I do. Of course I open the door. Not only the police...... it is the 3 of St. George's finest. Deputy Chief Peck, Chief Stratton and since they don't get out much they brought the Dispatch director Jeff Dial to make sure they found me.



What a shock. It made my whole day...no whole month in one visit. I can't say how much I appreciated it. Timing was good, we had a good visit and they made me feel like I can do it because so many people are behind me. In fact in this picture, I decided with some great people like this holding me up, i shall not fall or fail.......

A beautiful day in St. George

It is absolutely beautiful here in St. George today.

For the past few weeks, I have been able to drive Justin to school in the morning. It is only a 15 minute drive, but the important part is that I have been able to do it without my oxygen and I feel like my lungs are getting stronger. I also went for a little walk around our circle with my wife today without the oxygen or the walker. It is amazing how these little things mean so much now. It seems like a small thing but to me now these are minor victories.

It has been hard to watch my wife and kids cleaning up the leaves and yard and not being able to do it myself. It was always therapy for me to do yard work and now that I can't it hurts. But I am trying to do the best thing to get my body better.

Tired, but feeling good......

What is a "port -a- cath"

Some of you may be wondering what a "port a cath" is. I have pictures.

Instead of an IV everytime I go in, they surgically put a "main line" IV from my shoulder straight into one of my arteries in my chest. This allows them to both drip things like chemo, blood, saline, etc into me without having to get an IV in my arm, but it also allows them to draw blood out through the same line.


They simply "access" the port which is a small little needle (feels like when I prick my finger for my blood sugar tests" and hook it up. Then they can leave it for a few days if I am having lots of tests or take it out if it will be while and access it again when it is needed. Amazing and I love it.


This is what it looks like after it is all in place......

Tests are done... results won't be till Mon.

I just finished the PET scan, but they said the results won't be till Monday so we have an appointment set up for then. Till then thanks for all your prayers again. The scan was much easier this time and I know that it was because of the prayers.

Resting day

Under doctor's orders, I had to rest for my scan tomorrow. So I just watched TV and worked on the blog. Julie had a lot of work (she does Hallmark Card setups) and so Christmas time is crazy. Also one of the other ladies quit so she gets extra today. Today was the ward Christmas Party, but it was too hard for us to go (and I can't anyway) so she went to finally see a movie to take her mind off of it all. I guess it is still hard for her to have people come up all the time and say how is Jim, what is happening. We know they mean well, but sometimes it is too much. I love and support her in this so just remember us in your prayers and I will try and take some of that off her plate here in the blog.

I had a nice day though. Trying hard not to get my hopes up too much for the scan results. I know I have cancer and a rough road ahead, but it sure would be nice to have another miracle or two... ( who can blame me for wishing)......

More tests look good

We went to IV therapy for a few more tests. They are still looking good. I hope I a not getting my hopes up too high for tomorrow. We will see.

Judy told me that Nathan fasted for me Sunday and I know it helped. Thanks little buddy. Your prayers mean a lot to me. I sure love ya.

First rough day

Sun Dec 7th It finally hit a little bit and I have had a rougher day to day than the first part of the week. I was so glad Julie was back and told her at least 57 times. I can’t say how much I appreciate all she has done for me through this. I know that the Lord sent her to me for a specific reason and she is my angel on this side of the veil. I only hope that I can continue to repay her for all she does for me.