Saturday, February 21, 2009
Makes you wonder
You know, I just finished watching the Jazz game they dedicated to Larry Miller and have watched several of the tributes to him and they keep showing the doctor for Larry who makes the point that they could have had him around for 20 or 30 years more if he had taken care of himself before. So obviously I have decided that I am going to do everything I can (especially because I have diabetes as well), but it makes me wonder 2 things; 1) If there was anything in my life that I could have done to prevent this cancer or 2) if it is God's will could anything I do affect it before or after. It makes me wonder but I am still committed to doing everything I can to prolong my time which includes taking care of myself, eating better, and doing the insulin like I should. Just thinking...... and maybe I shouldn't think so much.
I am sorry
I guess I am in trouble for not keeping up with the blog. I apologize to those of you who like to read it, but I couldn't get myself to write anything this whole week while I was in the hospital and honestly I am not really in the mood right now either, but since I have been alerted by several people as to the importance in their lives of reading my blog, I will try. I will start with the hospital info and then talk about a couple of other things.
Last weekend. I was having some concerns about my breathing and also some chest pains that were more than normal or at least different. So Sunday morning, after trying to drain again with only minimal success Julie again felt that we should go into the ER. So early in the afternoon we tested our theory again. Normally when you go into the ER and you could have a bone sticking out someplace and they make you fill out registration stuff and sit out in the open area for at least an hour. But we found the trick. You look sickly (not to hard for me), walk in hunched over and tell them you are having chest pains and a hard time breathing. Every time we do that , they immediately put me in a wheelchair and call for an open room. I was back in a bed laying down within 5 minutes and the registration lady came back and got the information from Julie while she was in the room with me. So now you know how to beat the system. I think the people who were in the waiting room were ticked off pretty good.
After several tests and an x-ray and a cat-scan, Dr. Te was called and he agreed that I should be checked in. A good part of that was because my blood thinning was out of control again. It is supposed to be aound 2.x and this time it was even higher than the last time. IT was just over 6.0. We said hi to all our friends on the way (we know about half the people there now) and when we got onto the third floor, about half the nurses said welcomed us back again too. Then they started doing a lot of different tests and eventually a lung specialist come in and start looking into my situation. I did some lung tests, they had me on antibiotics, and lots of other drugs. The best thing was that all I had to do was tell them the pain was coming back and they would bring in a desert tray full of pain killers and say "what kind would you like today?". I could choose between fentynil sticks or IV, or a couple others that I didn't go for or my drug of choice...... morphine. With my port-a-cath accessed, drawing blood and injecting drugs is quick and easy. It is going to be tough to going back to having to wait.
After the results came back from some of the tests for the lung specialist they found a second infection they didn't know about and finally got my blood back to the thinness is was supposed to be at. I guess cumedin is not an art. It is sometimes tricky to get it right. The worst thing about this trip to the hospital was my attitude and how tired I was. Several people came to visit and I didn't even stir (which is very unusual for me) and I slept a lot. I mean a lot. This made me very frustrated bacause I could not spend much time awake with Julie. I told her she might as well go home and take care of the kids at home. Unfortunately, this happened to be one of those times when I found I really needed her. I feel like a wimp at those times, but I don't care anymore. I really missed her and spent one night crying most of the time I was awake. Luckily I slept more than I cried. The next night she stayed with me later and only went home after I fell asleep. I love her so much and I now hate the hospital even more. After several days, lots of test, x-rays, and about every nurse in that place checking my breathing, taking my vitals, and 15 bazillion pills they let me go home. Just before I left, I started to feel quite naseaus again, but I took an anti pill and waited till I could sit up enough to get in the car and made a break for it. Got home ok but went straight to bed and fell asleep immediately.
End result: It was a tough way to find it, but I think it was critical that we went in and Dr. Te called in the Lung specialist because he found the second infection that needed a different anti-biotic and they also re-verified several things that had been a concern to me like the fluid in the heart area and lung area. I was happy about that.
I do have to compliment the people at the DRMC also know as the IHC Hospital here in St. George. The doctors and nurses were very good and very friendly. They get an A for service.
When I got home and finally turned the computer on and checked mail and things, I read my friend Megan's update on her surgery and realized that I was pretty blessed to get in and out with the little bit I went through and again I immediately said another prayer for her. Bless her soul, she is a great inspiration to me. She has a great spirit and and a great husband. Like me, if we didn't have the great spouses we do, we would never make it and I know it. God bless you Josh H. and thanks to my lovely wife Julie. Megan our prayers are with you and hopefully you will be out soon too.
I will write more in a bit, but for now, I am too exhausted.
Be back soon I hope. At least the weather is nice and oh hey I almost forgot..... Brittany drove down for the weekend. It is so great to see her. I think I will go give her another hug. Love her a lot.
Last weekend. I was having some concerns about my breathing and also some chest pains that were more than normal or at least different. So Sunday morning, after trying to drain again with only minimal success Julie again felt that we should go into the ER. So early in the afternoon we tested our theory again. Normally when you go into the ER and you could have a bone sticking out someplace and they make you fill out registration stuff and sit out in the open area for at least an hour. But we found the trick. You look sickly (not to hard for me), walk in hunched over and tell them you are having chest pains and a hard time breathing. Every time we do that , they immediately put me in a wheelchair and call for an open room. I was back in a bed laying down within 5 minutes and the registration lady came back and got the information from Julie while she was in the room with me. So now you know how to beat the system. I think the people who were in the waiting room were ticked off pretty good.
After several tests and an x-ray and a cat-scan, Dr. Te was called and he agreed that I should be checked in. A good part of that was because my blood thinning was out of control again. It is supposed to be aound 2.x and this time it was even higher than the last time. IT was just over 6.0. We said hi to all our friends on the way (we know about half the people there now) and when we got onto the third floor, about half the nurses said welcomed us back again too. Then they started doing a lot of different tests and eventually a lung specialist come in and start looking into my situation. I did some lung tests, they had me on antibiotics, and lots of other drugs. The best thing was that all I had to do was tell them the pain was coming back and they would bring in a desert tray full of pain killers and say "what kind would you like today?". I could choose between fentynil sticks or IV, or a couple others that I didn't go for or my drug of choice...... morphine. With my port-a-cath accessed, drawing blood and injecting drugs is quick and easy. It is going to be tough to going back to having to wait.
After the results came back from some of the tests for the lung specialist they found a second infection they didn't know about and finally got my blood back to the thinness is was supposed to be at. I guess cumedin is not an art. It is sometimes tricky to get it right. The worst thing about this trip to the hospital was my attitude and how tired I was. Several people came to visit and I didn't even stir (which is very unusual for me) and I slept a lot. I mean a lot. This made me very frustrated bacause I could not spend much time awake with Julie. I told her she might as well go home and take care of the kids at home. Unfortunately, this happened to be one of those times when I found I really needed her. I feel like a wimp at those times, but I don't care anymore. I really missed her and spent one night crying most of the time I was awake. Luckily I slept more than I cried. The next night she stayed with me later and only went home after I fell asleep. I love her so much and I now hate the hospital even more. After several days, lots of test, x-rays, and about every nurse in that place checking my breathing, taking my vitals, and 15 bazillion pills they let me go home. Just before I left, I started to feel quite naseaus again, but I took an anti pill and waited till I could sit up enough to get in the car and made a break for it. Got home ok but went straight to bed and fell asleep immediately.
End result: It was a tough way to find it, but I think it was critical that we went in and Dr. Te called in the Lung specialist because he found the second infection that needed a different anti-biotic and they also re-verified several things that had been a concern to me like the fluid in the heart area and lung area. I was happy about that.
I do have to compliment the people at the DRMC also know as the IHC Hospital here in St. George. The doctors and nurses were very good and very friendly. They get an A for service.
When I got home and finally turned the computer on and checked mail and things, I read my friend Megan's update on her surgery and realized that I was pretty blessed to get in and out with the little bit I went through and again I immediately said another prayer for her. Bless her soul, she is a great inspiration to me. She has a great spirit and and a great husband. Like me, if we didn't have the great spouses we do, we would never make it and I know it. God bless you Josh H. and thanks to my lovely wife Julie. Megan our prayers are with you and hopefully you will be out soon too.
I will write more in a bit, but for now, I am too exhausted.
Be back soon I hope. At least the weather is nice and oh hey I almost forgot..... Brittany drove down for the weekend. It is so great to see her. I think I will go give her another hug. Love her a lot.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Ha .... fooled you all
Just when you (and I) thought I was on my way back, I fooled everyone and decided to have chest pains and shortness of breath enough that Julie listened to the spirit and ....... even though I fought it all day we finally went to the ER around 1:30 in the afternoon and after some testing and checking and cat scans and all, they decided to check me back in again. My blood thinning must be going really well cause it is back up to 6 (should be around 2 -2.3) and last time the admitted me before it was only 5 so we beat our old record. I got a little bit of a bloody nose and it wouldn't stop for over 45 minutes. So here we are again and they are checking on some other things especially for infections but I am glad I am here where they can monitor the thinness of my blood until we get it right (again). I can't believe it all goes crazy just when I think I have beat it for this time. The good news is that I have a little appetite back and I have Julie convinced that the only thing I can get to stay down right now is steak. (Good one huh). But it is true and it is also the only thing that sounds good when I think about eating.
It was pretty funny because as we checked in to the ER and then when they wheeled me back to my room (it's the 3rd time I have been on the 3rd floor, we passed about 20 people and almost half of them would get a big smile and say "Hey how are you..... back again I see" We have more friends now in the hospital than we do at our house. Even some guy came up to Julie down in the cafeteria and said, "Hey, aren't you James Cook's wife" a few weeks ago. I guess we are here more than I would suspect is typical. They say you make an impact everywhere you go, but I would think that the hospital is not one to braag about.
Nicole came down for the weekend and it was great to have her, but it was not great because I spent most of the time in bed trying to get better until today when I checked into the hospital. Not fun at all. She had some friends down with her though who stayed at one of their parents condos or something. They had a few activities and parties, so she was ok, but I missed her and hope that next time she (and I) will be able to do something together. I am trying real hard to look at a positive side of this and I guess when I consider what other reasons could have brought me here, I actually do count my blessings (huh Megan). Still praying for you and Josh.
Thanks to everyone who recently sent me an update to their families as well on my e-mail because I love to hear what is happening to all of you. If I end up not sleeping tonight (which is highly likely cause the hospital is the wrong place to try and get any rest) I may be back on the computer and putting down some more thoughts.
Love you all ...... Jim (#5097x) number on my tag......lol.
It was pretty funny because as we checked in to the ER and then when they wheeled me back to my room (it's the 3rd time I have been on the 3rd floor, we passed about 20 people and almost half of them would get a big smile and say "Hey how are you..... back again I see" We have more friends now in the hospital than we do at our house. Even some guy came up to Julie down in the cafeteria and said, "Hey, aren't you James Cook's wife" a few weeks ago. I guess we are here more than I would suspect is typical. They say you make an impact everywhere you go, but I would think that the hospital is not one to braag about.
Nicole came down for the weekend and it was great to have her, but it was not great because I spent most of the time in bed trying to get better until today when I checked into the hospital. Not fun at all. She had some friends down with her though who stayed at one of their parents condos or something. They had a few activities and parties, so she was ok, but I missed her and hope that next time she (and I) will be able to do something together. I am trying real hard to look at a positive side of this and I guess when I consider what other reasons could have brought me here, I actually do count my blessings (huh Megan). Still praying for you and Josh.
Thanks to everyone who recently sent me an update to their families as well on my e-mail because I love to hear what is happening to all of you. If I end up not sleeping tonight (which is highly likely cause the hospital is the wrong place to try and get any rest) I may be back on the computer and putting down some more thoughts.
Love you all ...... Jim (#5097x) number on my tag......lol.
Sunday thoughts delayed (not morning)
I was laying here this morning (it is actually Monday now) and realized that in some aspects, I am still being selfish and need to learn to think of others and their needs as well as mine. This came to me when my home teacher (from the deaf branch) and very dear friend Bro. Harris finally came over after not coming for a few weeks. I really missed him and (through the Branch President) kind of put a little guilt trip on him and he finally came over last night. As we talked, I realized (as did he) that one of the biggest reasons he hasn't come over is because of his closeness to people (lots of them in his family) who get cancer and then he loses them when they die. He finally found someone that he bonded with (that would be me) and he was afraid to lose me. Well, I totally understand and I realized that he needed time to resolve that in his mind and I started pressuring him to come over before it was resolved. We are ok now and I feel like we both walked away last night from the visit with a good feeling and I love him even more than before, but again I felt ashamed and humbled that I did not think of his feelings or situation. Instead all I cared about was I wanted someone to take care of my loneliness and needs. (I blame it on the medication and I am sticking with it.)
Now update on the week. This week set me back a little and it was a pretty rough one. I spent a lot of the week in bed or in my chair next to my bed. This is not my idea of a good time. Trust me. And because I went into this week's chemo in less than good strength, I think the chemo had an even tougher impact on me. But I think I am on the upswing now. Yesteday (Sunday) I was able to get out twice for a quick walk around the track (that is a little path up and down the street in front of my house that has become my walking trail). I have been able to eat more and it has stayed down and I do not have to have an anti-naseau pill everytime I try and eat anything. This week has left me weak. I have no strength in my legs at all. But I am working on it with the walks. Now if I can get a little more sleep at night, we just may be on our way back.
That is the update. ttyl
Now update on the week. This week set me back a little and it was a pretty rough one. I spent a lot of the week in bed or in my chair next to my bed. This is not my idea of a good time. Trust me. And because I went into this week's chemo in less than good strength, I think the chemo had an even tougher impact on me. But I think I am on the upswing now. Yesteday (Sunday) I was able to get out twice for a quick walk around the track (that is a little path up and down the street in front of my house that has become my walking trail). I have been able to eat more and it has stayed down and I do not have to have an anti-naseau pill everytime I try and eat anything. This week has left me weak. I have no strength in my legs at all. But I am working on it with the walks. Now if I can get a little more sleep at night, we just may be on our way back.
That is the update. ttyl
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