CHEMO begins - hang on tight ... here we go......

Mon. Oct 20th Well today was day 1 of actual chemo. Not sure what to expect but it was a little bit better because of the “port” I have in. I went to the IV therapy place and they got me all set up in a bed (they have lots of chairs, but only had one bed). I was actually pretty tired and I guess I still looked as if I had been in and out of the hospital several times in the past few weeks (oh wait I had). They treated me almost as if I was in the hospital again. I am actually starting to feel very comfortable in the hospital mentality and routine. I have gotten to know lots of RNs and CNAs and even quite a few of the doctors now. I know a lot of the terms, routines and tests they do (Julie is even better than me). Anyway, once I was in the bed, they set up the drip tubes and began to hook up all sorts of tubes and bags on the little drip tube “tree”. There is a really great nurse there named Rosalind and she was so fun. She has had breast cancer twice and has been doing this IV therapy /chemo treatments to patients (as a nurse) for many, many years. She has seen about everything and is pretty funny. She set it all up and took good care of me all day. I slept for most of the time and did my usual “sweating” and soaked the bed. Oh that is another thing that is interesting about me lately. When I sleep real good, I have started just having sweat pour out of my body, but it doesn’t seem to be good or bad it just happens. In the hospital, we changed my gowns a lot because of it.
That afternoon, I had another radiation treatment scheduled. The radiation treatment area was on the lower floor there at the old hospital (which is where the IV therapy was too) so they said I could just have Julie take me down for that in the middle of the chemo treatment. I was not sure about it, but trusted Julie to do what was best. We ended up being late and there was a backlog of people waiting at the time so it looked as if we would be there for a while. I knew how important it was to not miss the treatment so I thought I would try and tough it out. As I sat in the wheelchair with my oxygen tube in my nose and my “drip tube tree” beside me and displaying all the characteristics of a recent hospital candidate (3 times over) I figured that anyone else in that room had to be encouraged by comparing their own situation to mine, and they would recognize by looking at me that “it could be worse”.
As 10 to 15 minutes passed (seemed like hours) I found my leg bouncing fiercely again (reaction to pain and stress) and Julie kept looking over from her puzzle (they have a table with a puzzle for people waiting) and asking if I was ok. She knew better, but I told her I was (ok). I again began to pray to my Heavenly Father and told him I couldn’t do it again and needed help. Again I heard the spirit say to me “Just stand up”. Once again my feeble faith took over as I questioned the sense in this and I wondered just what spirit I was listening too. I did as it directed though and I began to walk around the little waiting area that had some open space and started to circle the space. As I did, I felt more energy come to me and as before I felt unseen support from the other side of the veil. After 4 circuits of the room I sat down again and was able to sit calmly and peacefully in the wheelchair for over an hour while I waited my turn. It was incredibly spiritual for me. I know there were angels on the other side of the veil holding me up through this trial as well.

Nicole talk in church (more angels)

Sun. Oct 19th Most of our extended family that had come down for the wedding left to go home Sunday morning. Nicole had been asked to give a talk in the Deaf branch today and so I was determined to go and hear her. Again angels were prayed for and received. As we were sitting in the chapel, I again began to feel tired and weak. As I prayed, I felt the spirit again say “Just stand up”. I did so after the sacrament and (like before) as I stood there in the back, I felt lifted and supported by unseen angels that carried me through until her talk was over. She gave a fantastic talk on the importance of families and I was so impressed. We then went home and I rested most of the day. Julie’s parents came over and asked if I thought they could help by staying and I said I really thought they could if they stayed one more day which turned out to be true. They were able to help Julie take care of several clean up issues from the wedding (returns and stuff left at the alumni house etc) that made it so Julie could concentrate on getting me through my first day of chemo.