Josh and Kirby's wedding

Sat Oct. 18th Josh’s Wedding: Today was one of the most spiritual days I have ever experienced. We had decided that my main goal was to be in the sealing room for the wedding. If I was not able to be at the rest of the activities, then that would be fine as long as I made it to the wedding itself. I felt it was my right, privilege, and responsibility to be sitting on that witness seat next to the sealer for my son and I was going to be there. I got ready as early as I could and we headed over to the temple. They had arranged a wheel chair for me when I got there. They took me in and got some white clothes for me and I went into a small room for handicap people and changed. It seemed to take a little energy from me, but I did ok for the most part and did it by myself (except for socks). I was pleased about that. Dad and others helped me get upstairs. Then we went and waited with the Bride and Groom and their parents in another room for about 15 minutes.

Josh and Kirby looked absolutely radiant and I kept thinking this was what we had worked so hard for. Josh, to be able to marry her (he had asked her dad 3 times before he finally said yes) and me to be there for it. But most important was that Josh had worked hard to be able to marry Kirby for all time and eternity in the temple. What a true blessing we can realize from that in our lives now thanks to the gospel. We then went up (the parents) to the room. In the St. George temple there is one sealing room just off of the Celestial Room so you have to get dressed in whites to be there. Everyone dressed in whites made it that much more special.

After everyone came in and sat down (the room was overflowing and some people even stood) they brought the couple in. I was able to be one of the Witnesses and there was nothing more important to me at time than that. As the sealer came in and began talking I was overcome by the spirit and began to cry a little (as did most of us in there). I could not comprehend how blessed I was to have the Lord answer our prayers the way he did. Josh and Kirby knelt at the alter and were married for all time and eternity. It was truly a dream come true for all of us.


After the wedding, I went home and rested. We decided to try and see how I would do at the breakfast. It was held at the Alumni house and Julie and her family (as well as Kirby’s folks) did a tremendous job and it was very nice.

After the breakfast we went home and I rested again for a while to see if I could make it at all to the reception. I wanted to be there so bad. I felt up to it so we loaded up and headed over. I had a wheel chair and walker and oxygen tank for my entourage. Nicole took me and Katie and Julie came minutes later with Teresa.

When we got there, I changed into the red tie Josh got for us and there was a huge “lazy boy” chair there for me. Julie had been asked by Bro. Jennings (our home teacher) what he could do and she suggested that if he could find a lazy boy chair and get it there for me, it would really help. It was huge and very comfortable in most cases, but it was almost too big for me there. We did the “wedding pictures” and I managed to do really well in all of them. Grandma and Grandpa Faerber were not there yet and so they didn’t get in the Grandparent’s shot, but it was ok. When they did get there we found out that Grandpa had gotten a ticket on the way there for speeding. Now that is a real oxy-moron, but it happened. When people started coming through, we took our places in the little line under the trees in the back. It was decorated absolutely perfect in my mind. The weather could not have been better either.

In the line it was Kirby’s parents first, then the happy couple, and then Julie and I. I was sitting in the chair for a while and starting to get worn out (even sitting) and not sure how long I would last. I started praying for some help and I felt the spirit tell me to “just stand up”. This seemed very strange to me, given my current situation but I decided to listen to the spirit. I had a little red “walker” (like Grandma Cook’s) that one of Julie’s new dear friends had loaned us and so I put it right next to Julie and stood by it. It also had a little seat area so I alternated between the seat and standing and soon I realized I felt better the longer I stood. Soon I was not even aware of how tired or hurting I was and I know that I had angels on the other side of the veil holding me up. I was able to stand (and alternate sitting on the walker) for the entire time (several hours). In fact I was able to even stay and watch them cut the cake and throw the bouquet and everything. Finally sweet Nicole took me home and I could not have been happier at that moment. The Lord had heard and answered prayers in a very direct way. It was a most perfect evening.

The decorations were absolutely perfect. The bride was beautiful and the groom was beaming and very handsome. Lots of people came and it was so good to see everyone. Lots of our family were able to make it down and it was absolutely perfect in every way (in my opinion). Some of them came over briefly to say hi, but it was hard for me to see them.

Julie told her parents about the blessing from President Jensen and the angels on both sides of the veil. She asked them to keep an eye out for the poster and they ran right down to Deseret Book and brought a copy back all wrapped up for her and it almost made us cry (well I think Julie did cry). We now have that prominently displayed on the fireplace and it gives us hope every day as we talk about the angels here and there. Especially from the wedding as I realized that coming from the hospital (almost not able to leave) two days before and going through all I went through, that whether I felt them physically or not, I had angels on either side of me holding me up at the reception that night and I needed to “just stand up” so they could do their job and assist me as I requested. There was no other way that I could have possibly made it.

Home care people to the rescue

Fri. Oct 17th Home hospice person (her name is Heather and she was great) came to train Julie some more on changing bandages and other things that she would need and we set up a schedule for her to come a couple of times a week to begin with and then we would work back from there. This is a great service they provide and I can not believe how blessed we are with the technology and care they can give now. The Lord has a purpose for me here I know after all the miracles that have happened to keep me here on this earth for now. We are constantly noticing angels on this side and the other side of the veil as promised in Pres. Jensen’s blessing to my wife.

Check out of hospital (part 2)

Thurs. Oct 16th Even as late as this morning, there was some question about whether I was going to be able to go home or to the wedding, but again Dr. Te worked with us really well and I worked hard to get me ready to go. I would get up a couple of times during the night and go for little walks around the hospital wing with the nurses and I would try and eat as good as I could and drink fluids and everything but I could tell that Dr. Te was still a little hesitant thinking it may be early for me to leave the hospital, but they eventually did let me go home and we checked out.

Temple recommend in hospital

Wed Oct 15th Had a most incredibly spiritual experience today. As promised at 7:00 pm. the bishop from the hearing ward (Bishop Hurst) and one of the Stake Presidency came to my hospital room and gave me a temple recommend interview that I will never forget. I was sitting on the edge of my bed in my hospital gown and they sat on the little couch in the room and talked to me about my situation for a minute. Bishop Hurst has some insight into my situation as he just finished chemo and cancer treatment recently as well, and he knows Julie and Justin real well too. He made the comment to the councilor (can’t remember his name) that he truly felt I was ready to go to the temple if anyone was. I agreed with him as I had been so close to the veil several times and had been the recipient of many miracles and spiritual experiences. Bishop Hurst asked me the first few questions and then the Stake President asked me the rest. When he asked me if I felt worthy to go to the temple I replied “More than I ever have in my life” and it was true.

Fundraiser in Rapid City

While this was going on at the hospital, the City of Rapid City had a fundraiser for me.
Fundraiser in Rapid (Oct 14th)
Kevin (my boss in Rapid City) had asked me if it was ok with me, if they did a fundraiser barbeque for me there and I said sure. I was expecting a little lunch thing and a few people that knew me well to come and share a burger and donate something to my cause, but I was a little bit overwhelmed when I found out what they did. The Civic Center donated the barbecue stuff from the concessions, a lot of people brought stuff to donate for the lunch, and they advertised with a couple of announcements using that famous golf picture with the buffalo on my door. They had everyone sign the “huge” card and a lot of people apparently came and got some lunch. When they collected everything up, over 150 people came and they collected a substantial amount of money which they then mailed to me in a check. I was completely humbled and overwhelmed. I had no idea that that many people even knew who I was (let alone cared enough to support me like that). The Mayor had told me (when they were recruiting me) that I would never meet any better people than I would find in Rapid City and I could not agree more. They have shown me a different side to a city organization that I had never seen before and nearly every single person that wished me well from Rapid says that they will “keep me in their prayers”. What a powerful thing and I know that I am being blessed because of these good people as well. It was truly humbling and much more than I expected.

Blood Clot in arm

Tues Oct 14th While they were doing all this, my left hand began to swell up to the size of a small grapefruit. It was pretty funny looking but scary at the same time. It even hurt somewhat so we began to be worried. They did some ultrasound testing on my arm and identified a blood clot in my left arm so they had to start doing all testing on my right arm. They put me on kumedin to try and thin my blood. This again was a concern because of the potential risk blood clots immediately pose on top of all the other things I am going through. When they were going to drain the fluid from my chest area every day, I would usually tell them to wait until Julie came over because she had been trained by the “home hospice” people how to do this special drain. They trained her after we got released from the hospital the first time and it was a new technology thing that most of the nurses at the hospital had never done before. I had one nurse though who was sure she could do it. I tried to help walk her through the steps as best as I knew and one thing I stressed to her was not to lose the little white cap from the end of “my tube” when you took it off because we were told they couldn’t just replace the cap. It was part of a complete kit (the rest of which was inside my body) and it was very expensive if they had to break open another kit just for the cap ($900). Well she didn’t pay attention or something and ended up accidentally throwing it into the garbage and when we couldn’t find it at first I kind of went a little bit nuts. (It was really weird for me to do this but I did) and when Julie got there she calmed me down and they eventually got everything straightened out and it was fine, but I kind of “lost it” a little that morning.

Port-a-Cath (permanent IV)

Mon Oct 13th As they have been doing a lot of blood work and constantly poking my arms for blood tests and they also had to move an IV from one place to another (not to mention that the original IV from my first visit had to be moved as well (as it started to be painful) they found that all my veins were collapsing and they couldn’t ever get a good IV inserted. They eventually talked to us about a PIC (more internal IV in the arm) and finally they suggested and we agreed to have something called a “port-a-cath” (port for short) which is where they surgically insert a tube just under the skin in my right shoulder / chest area and then this tube feeds down into one of my main arteries. Then when ever they need to give me something they would typically do an IV for they just plug into this “ready made” IV. Because it goes right into that main blood vessel, they can even use it to “draw” blood for tests from the same tube. It is really amazing technology. So we did that one last surgery and even when they tried to get me ready for it downstairs it took three of their best doctors in radiology working together to find a place they could get one last IV in halfway up the inside of my right arm. It took them three tries in other places first. This will also be extremely useful for the chemo treatments because they can use it instead an IV every time to administer the chemo. It is much easier and a lot less painful as well.

Note: everyday I have to go over to the old hospital to the cancer radiation treatment center and so when they are scheduled they get one of the small transport vans to come get me and they pack me all up, wheel me down into the van (I am sure I looked funny all wrapped up in the wheelchair, toting my oxygen, dragging my catheter, but to be honest…. I didn’t even care). The drive over in the back of that van was quite a trip too. Sometimes the “kid” drivers I don’t think realized how bad you bounce around in the back of those vans. I was just glad they had me belted and strapped in tight and I usually made sure I took good medication and drained my chest every time before I went or I almost refused to go. That was an adventure too.

Angels promised to Julie

Sun Oct 12th Today I had a few visitors and one visit was from the Deaf Branch President (Jensen) and our great home teacher (Jimmy Harris). It was great to have them come over, but even more important was the fact that they went to visit Julie and Katie after my visit and while they were there visiting Julie, they asked her if she wanted a blessing. Everyone focuses on me and making sure that my needs are accounted for, but Press. Jensen and Bishop Hurst being the good leaders that they are were one of the few priesthood leaders that realized just how difficult this is for the support people (and in this case the wife, nurse, and total care-giver). All of this is on top of the fact that she has to address all the new financial responsibilities and costs associated with my drugs and other new needs from my hospital visits, while still keeping up with her other motherly responsibilities. With a deaf child, there are additional responsibilities for her care. Then there is the laundry, house cleaning and making sure the kids do their homework, get to play practices, turn in all their assignments etc. This is more than anyone should be expected to have to deal with ever, let alone all at the same time as a needy hospital patient trying to come home dependant on her (more so than my) ability to handle it.
In his blessing for Julie, President Jensen told her that there were “angels on this side and the other side of the veil that were waiting to help us push through our times of trials and we needed to ask for their assistance.” This really struck Julie and she had a picture of a painting come into her mind and we eventually would adopt this as our main form of support and encouragement through this whole thing. It is the painting by (???) of the saints pulling handcarts in the winter blizzard of Wyoming and there are several angels helping the pioneers pull their handcarts as they look like they just can’t go on anymore. Julie told me about this when she came to the hospital and it was quite a beautiful and inspirational thing for us both.