Tee time 3:00 today????

Dixie Red Hills Course was beautiful and warm... wish I had been there......




















Is it true????















This sure beats the snow and the buffalo in Rapid City. Thanks for taking me Gary.........












I had some people ask about the buffalo so I figured I would add it here. When I went to Rapid City (a year ago last Nov) the Finance Director there invited me and my boss to dinner. He has some buffalo and so we took this picture to let everyone in St. George know what they were missing out on up there. That is the story .....


And that is the picture......

Yippee .....more visitors

The Furners......

Today was very very special. This morning, one of my life long, very very special friends brought his family over and we had a tremendous visit. I found that Dan and his beautiful wife Susan (she hasn't changed a bit) have raised some wonderful kids who were very interested in our spiritual discussion as well as pretended to be interested in my "ramblings on" about myself (and those who know me, know that is my favorite subject). I really think his kids are great and I am so glad I got to know them (at least the 3 he brought). Libby, Catie, and now I will forever be mad at his boy (Sam) because he let me play with his I-phone and I want one bad....... Dan why did you tell him to go get it......lol.....now I am focused on figuring out how to get one. I think I will set up a fund at Zions bank that people can contribute to to help with my obsession..... I mean my medical stuff.... I mean.... well.... i will let you know what I work out. (Sorry if I didn't get the kid's names right)

I sure do appreciate Dan's friendship. We grew up together since I moved to Murray in the 6th grade. He was the best friend anyone could ever have asked for. He lived across the street but was a year younger in school. That never stopped us from developing a lifelong bond and even now I feel a closeness with him that I know will last way beyond this life. And his sweet wife is just as special. I know that the Lord will bless them because they are trying so hard to do hiswill as well. And thanks Susan for the uplifting story as well. They got us some lunch and his boy is a man after my own heart and jumped all over my suggestion of Cafe Rio. We sat out back in the beautiful St. George sunshine (about 55 degrees today) and had a great visit outdoors as well. I love it here in St. George (as I have mentioned) and this reminded me of at least one more reason why I am glad the Lord knows the bigger picture, didn't sell our house, and am happy to submit my will to his.

Anyway Dan and I have many many great memories of our childhood. In fact his wife referred to the stories she has heard of our childhood, as "our version of Camelot" and indeed looking back there were times where we had our Lancelots and Guniveres, our knights and tons of lovely maidens...... So the question I pose to you all that were there...... Who was King Aurthur?

Anyway thanks for fantastic visit. I sure love you guys too and I appreciated the visit more than I can express......

My day of independance

Ok, so...... today was a test and I passed with flying colors. Julie found out that her best friend (Angel Teresa) who saved her several times through this ordeal of mine, needs a return favor in Salt Lake. Teresa's father-in-law passed away and Teresa needs some help this time in return. We tried to figure out how to send the help virtually, but we couldn't see how without driving to Salt Lake. If you read my blog all the way through, you remember the last time I told Julie I would be fine if she went to Salt Lake (she needed to get away for a few days) I didn't do very well. In fact I bawled like a baby, called her cell phone, and made her come back a day early. So I knew I couldn't do that again if I was going to let her go again.

So today was a test. Dr. Barton's office called yesterday and said he wanted to get an echo-cardiagram done and they had scheduled it for 7:00 this morning. I decided I would use this as a test to see if I could be independant enough to convince myself she could leave for a couple of days. I called the hospital registration yesterday afternoon (myself), whispered through the registration (myself), got up at 5:30 am (myself), got dressed (yes myself and my levis... not pajamas), drove Justin to school (you guessed it), got to the hospital, checked in, had the test, drove home and got back in bed (myself) after we got Katie off to school and I finished rocking and reading. (This is not a hamburger commercial I promise).

So based on that, I feel like I am ready to try it again. Also if there is any need, my good friends from Salt Lake will be here this weekend and have agreed to back me up if needed. Plus I always can have Josh and Justin. But this past week has shown me that I can do a lot more than I could have done just a few weeks ago. At this time, I feel good and Julie is going to go help her friend in return.

No results from the tests yet, but the technician thought everything was good.

Rocking chair

Katie is off to school, I rocked in the chair till the sun came up. Read my scriptures and had a wonderful experience of warmth as I did. Life is good (even better at 8:00 than 4:00 am) and I know that I am loved. Just think of it though, if you are reading this then at least one person loves you too.........

I love you all.

Early morning thoughts

As I am sitting in my work chair this morning (4:00 am is too early for the rocking chair / sun experience), I am given a chance to reflect again on the wisdom and blessings of Heavenly Father in my life. We are working on the financial aspect of this situation and I am trying hard again to trust in the Lord on all things. When it appears as if the doors are closed to us and we begin to question the Lord, a different door opens and I am humbled again at my weakness in my ability to trust in him to take care of me. I have faith, but it is weak at times. Sometimes I am just plain weak in all aspects of my life.

I try and remember how bad I felt when I realized my lack of trust in the Lord as the doctor in Rapid City gave me the options for chemo treatment locations. He said that since my cancer was inoperable and uncurable I could basically get the treatment in Rapid if I wanted but to be "with family" and I had family in Salt Lake, I could get the treatment at the Huntsman Cancer institute. Or (and I remember well the strong witness I felt) I could go "home" to St. George and they had a fine facility there. When he said the words "home to St. George" I felt a small prick of the heart (maybe it was just a little bit in the lungs too....lol) as I realized how Julie and I had been frustrated and tried to counsel the Lord and explain to him that for almost a year we had done everything he had asked us to and yet we had no luck or help in selling our house. But all of a sudden I realized that because of his "bigger picture" ability I had a "home" (not just a house) to go to and it has been one of the greatest blessings in my recovery. Again I feel humbled and I decided I needed to express my feelings because I find myself wavering slightly when it does not seem like it can work out but I need to have faith that the right doors will open.

I do have faith and so instead today I am going to focus on the fact that I have been given one more day and one more chance to show my faith. I am working on it. Don't anyone give up on me. I am weak, but I am not going to give up either. It is going to be a beautiful day no matter what........
I love you all.....

Status update

Lots of changes and some will mess up plans I was making. On the other hand, it is going to open some opportunities that weren't there before. First the really good news. Dr. Te decided to postpone the chemo treatment this week until after the throat surgery on the 21st. So the good news is that it will give me another week and a half of feeling great. The bad news is that I had several things scheduled around the next good "third week" of chemo and it is all changed. So I now have to go back to the re-schedule mode but I will figure out how to make it work somehow. I am so excited to have another week of feeling good. I enjoyed last week so much. In fact last night after our Sunday dinner with Josh and Kirby, when they sat down to play games, I actually felt good enough to play with them. I have to admit, I was pretty worn out this morning and when we went to IV therapy for the tests, I fell asleep for about a half hour, but it was so worth it.

So as it stands now, the surgery is scheduled on the 21st and the next chemo treatment is scheduled for Thurs. the 29th. Sorry Judy, but let's figure out something. And Russ we may have to work the presentations around just a little bit if we can. I hope we have time.

As for my thoughts on all this. I am being blessed beyond belief and yesterday I was able to sit through all of church and even talked with a lot of people after the meeting. It was wonderful to be able to do it two weeks in a row. I now have set a new goal. I let Julie in on it last night and her reaction was positive so I just have to work hard. My next goal is to get doing well enough in the next month to set up a trip to Salt Lake. I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but for me it will be next to amazing and I am determined to do it. So get ready because I know I can do it and I am going to. I will keep you posted. In the meantime, I think that the Lord is giving me a chance to enjoy my family even more than last week. I plan on thinking of lots of good things to do with them this week amd next until my surgery.

I am so blessed sometimes I can't believe it.

More Sunday morning thoughts

I really enjoyed my rocking chair this morning. When the sun came up through the window today it seemed to be an especially bright color of white instead of yellow. I thought it seemed appropriate for Sunday and made me think about my blessings again. Particularly how lucky I am to have this third week after Chemo when I can enjoy some decent days and feel a little bit normal for a few days. So here is a little recap of some neat highlights.

It has been a marvelous week for me. Several people came and visited. I really enjoyed their visits including Cory and James from my old work. Then Friday when we just all went to lunch after my doctors it brought back a lot of memories (including Marc being too busy to join us....lol... we missed you Marc).

My uncle John (yes he is my uncle and we have always been close since we are the same age.)

stopped by on his way through to Mesa and we had a great chat too. I just love visitors on this third week. I am going to have to start scheduling more of them in advance. I truly do love people and the good spirits they bring here. I hope that in some small way I can lift their spirits like they do mine.

One of my friends from the City's golf course came over on New Year's eve to bring some of his mom's special cake for me. He knew I had cancer but wasn't aware it was lung cancer. We have been trying to get him to quit smoking for years now, and when he realized what I had it caught him a little bit by surprise and really shook him. He said he had been planning on quitting for a New Years' resolution. I told him if he needed any help to just think about what I was going through and it may help him quit. Well apparently it did more than that. When he stopped by this week to pick up his mom's pan, he said it really upset him for days and he couldn't sleep and would wake up in the night (if he ever got to sleep) with someone telling him he had cancer and was going to die and everything. I felt bad about that and I am glad that finally stopped for him but I told him it was one of the best things he could have done for me was to tell me he had no problem with the smoking now. I was ecstatic and I hope it keeps that way for him. I decided that if I can just help him to have a better, longer, happier life that I will feel truly blessed again to be able to use this challenge I have to help others focus on the important things. As my good friend Josh says.... What a blessing.

Katie had won a reward certificate from school for that Pirates Cove pizza place and yesterday mom told her she could take her two twin friends (also partially deaf) with her for lunch. At the last minute I decided there was absolutely no reason that I couldn't go with them so I did. It was so fun to feel somewhat normal. I ordered a salad bar and had some of Julie's breadsticks. They let us sit in this little enclosed area with a table for a small group in a little cove like area and it was just us in there which I really appreciated. So except for the fact that I was in my pajama bottoms, wearing slippers, with an oxygen tank wheeled in front of me, and an oxygen tube in my nose, a hat covering a bald head, and a coat on the whole time (it was a little cold inside), I felt just as normal as everyone else......lol..... Only a few kids stared at me, but it is funny how people don't know how to react to a cancer patient. I almost find it comical sometimes because I used to be one of those who didn't react well so I don't fault them. You don't know whether to look or smile or acknowledge their presence or what. Just a little note to you all. At least for myself I don't mind when someone smiles at me and nods or says hello. But it is amusing when people go out of their way to try and not even look. I assume they are trying not to call attention to the person and that is fine too I guess. Anyway I just saw that a lot yesterday. But bottom line, as for the outing it was tremendously fun. I love getting out and making memories now with my kids.

For breakfast this morning when Katie said the blessing on the food she thanked Heavenly Father for making the cancer get stopped and then she prayed that he would make the cancer go away. I decided I am going to go with her on that one. She has a lot of faith too and I want to hang on her faith for a while. She made french toast and set the table all by herself for us. I just love her. (Here she is with me at the deaf ward).


The rest of the week was full of good phone calls, lots of supportive e-mails and even a chance to reconnect with my cheerleading partner Darcy from High School. Talk about a good week. I sure love you all and I am really appreciating all of you more and more.

I hope you all receive the blessings in store for you in return for all you are doing for me.