Did I really see it ??????

UTAH FANS at my PARTY
Utah: 31 Alabama: 17

I am not sure I actually saw it but I did. I am so glad I had someone to watch that amazing miracle with. It would have just been a total shame to see that miracle game by myself. Instead, I had my best friends, parents, relatives, my two boys (and Kirby, but she only likes the band stuff) again at uncle Lou's house and it was everything I could have hoped for. I guess I know how bad the good Lord knew I needed friends and family around me.
It was important. I know this picture is not the best, but it shows you a little of my party.

Voice / Throat surgery update

The surgery that was scheduled on Jan 7th to fix my throat and voice has been postponed. Apparently no internist in St. George is willing to take new patients and the throat doctor does not want to do the surgery until he is sure everything else is ok. So I am waiting to hear what they want to do next. But it is still going to happen I think. Targeting the end of Jan now.

Almost forgot New Years' Eve update

I almost forgot to share the other side of my New Year's eve experience. We tried to wake our sleeping kids up for midnight (was never gonna happen) and then just watched the "time square ball" drop. I got out of my chair, walked over to my wife and gave her a totally welcome hug and then one of the sweetest kisses I have ever experienced. Then we started dancing slowly with the T.V. people while they played the traditional "Auld Lang Sine" sp?. I have never ever thought I would experience an emotional New Year's Eve. Usually I am partying hearty, I find my wife, a quick kiss and bang some pans and right back to partying. But last night, I all of a sudden realized that Heavenly Father had allowed me one more second chance. I had set a goal to "live" until 2009 (I realize it is only because God is allowing it) and I had just reached it. Yes, I started bawling like a baby again. I tried to minimize this breakdown to just a few minutes.

Then we stepped out the front door with my UofU blankie wrapped around us and watched the St. George fireworks (we could just see the tops of them over the beautiful red cliffs in front of our house when they went off and it was really fun). Then we went in and went to bed and I prayed another very sincere personal prayer of gratitude after Julie drifted off to sleep.

Party continued

NEW YEAR'S DAY PARTY TRADITION continues....... 15 years... but this time only one TV instead of 3......lol


Yep I made it all day even till the end of the Rose bowl (maybe that wasn't worth it). There were tons of people and lots of food. After years of doing this, I guess it is just something that I have to do to be happy. Uncle Lou and my Dad got the little smokies and meatballs, mom made a special spinach salad, Aunt Emily through some veggie together and some fruit salads. And I made my famous sausage dip. Lots and lots of candy and left over Christmas junk food. It was great. Some of them played games and one of Uncle Lou's boys, Eric, came over and watched the games with us for a while. Now we are resting up to get ready for Utah's game tomorrow. It might take me all day too...lol..

My good buddy Zane drove all the way down from Logan today to join us.....

The game playing crew....


Uncle Lou who let us crash his place.....

My Dad got worn out just watching.....lol

Me and Josh (he decided to play computer games instead so he just dropped by for a bit)....



You know sometimes you think some things are coincidental, but the way that all the pieces fell into place so that this party came together including the fact the weather cleared up so my parents could come down, was certainly beyond coincidence in my mind.

Party on.....

Visits from Angels on this side:

I have had quite a few inspirational visits from a lot of really neat people and I greatly appreciate it. One of my good friends from High School, Gary Bolingbroke came down from Cedar a couple of days ago and we talked for hours. We shared a lot of memories but also reinforced each other with stories and discussion of inspiration. It is amazing how you can find positive things in any situation. Thanks for that Gary.

NEW YEAR'S HOPES:

So in a moment of almost desperation, I asked my Uncle Lou if I could maintain my tradition of watching Football on New Year's day with him at his house. He agreed and the wheels went into motion. Next thing I know, my folks decide to drive down, and then a dear friend from way back (Zane W.) decides to drive down from Logan today to join the party too. So I went from total depression to total "fun times" in one day. I think that maybe, it is an attempt to make up for the depressing Christmas time I went through. We are right in the middle of the Rose Bowl and it has been great. I will fill in more details later. The rest of them came over and are playing new games we got for Christmas. More details later, but I wanted to tell everyone that has motivated me to make the effort for this party. The tradition has continued.

More Graitude

I know that a lot of times when you single out individuals and express gratitude, you run the risk of not mentioning someone that you should. But with a pre-emptive apology to those that may find themselves in that situation (not mentioned here) I do have to express our gratitude to a few individuals because of their focus on my wife. In particular, the women in the Relief Society. They have been incredibly supportive of my wife and like I mentioned before, she does not get the same focus because most of the time the focus is on me. But the RS presidency have been there for her whenever needed. Beyond that, Julie is extrememly blessed (and by extension so am I) to have sweet Marsha as her VT companion. I can not say enough how much we appreciate everything she has done for Julie and our family. Marsha is one of those spiritually gifted and inspired people who just show up when needed everytime. When Julie is struggling with anything, Marsha show up at the door with a plant or a candle or some little "lift me up" gift that is just what she (or even I) need.

In fact I will be wrapped up in my "now famous" UofU blanket Friday night thanks to Marsha's quilt making efforts. The day of the TCU game, she somehow found out about my UofU support need and just went out, made the quilt and delivered it in time for the game. That "blankie" now goes everywhere with me. That was only a start and I wanted to let her know (as well as everyone else that has done those "little" things) how much we appreciated your efforts in a "big" way. She also monitored it very closely to make sure our Christmas was as perfect as could be and she made sure Santa was aware of our needs and fulfilled them.

We have angels on the other side of the veil waiting until we need them, but we have even more angels like Marsha on this side of the veil who aren't waiting to be asked. There are many others like Marsha, and I apologize for not being able to share all the miracles and experiences (on this blog) from you all, but know that we love you for it and I pray that your rewards will come in a way that you recognize the good things that come from your service.

Thank you to everyone for your love prayers and acts of service and kindness.

More out of the closet

DINNER and A HIKE - GOOD TIMES

Last night we put on something besides my pajama bottoms again which is a real good indication that I went out someplace other than the hospital. My wife even got me some new levis that actually fit too. The whole family (I can't believe how often this is happening lately) went to Golden Corral and it was superb.


I had a great appetite and the food actually tasted great and I had taken the necessary preparatory drugs that allowed me to stay for a good long time and eat well. Really helped make up for the rough week. Thanks to everyone for coming (including Grandma and Grandpa).




Then this morning, everyone decided that the weather was so nice, they wanted to go hiking in Snow Canyon so they did. The whole family again, only we thought it might be a little too tough for me still so I went "in spirit". As beautiful as Snow Canyon is, it isn't hard to imagine me there in spirit, eh?




They had a great time, but when Grandma and Grandpa left to go back to Salt Lake, unfortunately Brittany had to go with them. Sadness in the air........waaa. It was marvelous to have her here.

Late night thinking

Tonight is a night for re-appreciation. It is sometimes hard to think past the now and appreciate the past in order to make the future the best that it can be (wow...... deep eh?). I have been sitting here for a while (working on computer things while I contemplate) thinking about the blessings in my life. While this has been a little bit of a rough week, I can't let it go on without remembering some basic truths.
1) I am still here with my family.
2) I know that whatever happens is being guided by a higher power that loves me more than I can ever comprehend.
3) I have the most dedicated and loving wife who has stood by me through very difficult times and has promised to be with me forever.
4) I know that even though I have made many mistakes in my life, I have a strong knowledge that I can still have them wiped clean and be able to live with my Father in Heaven again

This Christmas week was not what I thought it would be at all. You always hope that everything is happiness and good times at Christmas and while I knew that that was somewhat unlikely, I was not prepared for the total exhaustion that this round of chemo hit me with. It made it seem like the most "un"-Christmas time I could have imagined. But then a couple of things happened that made me start to re-evaluate the week. I watched my sweet wife experience happiness today, at a higher level than she has been able to for a while. Her best friend (Teresa) and her husband came down again and made everything all better. Then her mom and dad came down from Salt Lake too and we had dinner. I listened to her playing games out in the kitchen (like we used to do every Sunday night) and laugh for hours like there was no worries in her life for a while. No sickly cancer patient husband, no toxic laden (chemo residual) messes to clean up, no special laundry trips for the blankets, no special medicines to get ordered, no bottles to drain the fluid from the lungs, no changing the bandages on all the surgeries, no oxygen tanks to order, no trips back to the hospital for emergencies..... I could go on, but I realized again what an angel the Lord has blessed me with and how un-grateful and selfish I can be.

Please Lord forgive me for my selfishness. Please give her more happiness than she deserves.....

Please help me to be more appreciative of others.

REWIND:

Josh H. brought over the present on Christmas Eve that I mentioned before. It is a beautiful painting that has a very special meaning behind it, but more importantly it is special because of who it comes from. Megan you have become quite an inspiration to me and I want everyone to know that you are. I have only met you formally a couple of times (Josh keeps me informed of how wonderful you are too) but I want to thank you for your gifts and your inspiration. I have the painting hanging on the wall right next to my chair and I look at it all the time. The image of the little girl and the handcart to me probably means something different than others, but I see you in her as well. I see someone who is ready to take on the challenge she has been given, no matter how daunting it may seem. But she is not afraid. She knows she has angels to help her and I also know that too. This may not have been all that your Dad put in the painting, but it is what I have come to see in it and it gives me daily strength. Thank you again for my gift.

Well I am going to try and get back after the positive side of all this in the morning, but while I had so much going on in my mind, I wanted to put it out there.

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Oh ya and Brittany ( my oldest daughter) came down with Grandma and Grandpa and how I have missed her too. It reminds me of the "Night Before Christmas" story as my three girls are all snuggled in Katie's bed with visions of .... something, dancing in their heads. They are all a joy to me. I truly love my family. Hugs and kisses for her. Yippee.

Rough week

It has been a rough chemo recovery week. I will be back as soon as I can be positive. Sorry....