MRI today too

Went in for an MRI today as well. Should have results tomorrow. Will know if the cancer that they found on my brain is stopped as well...... Hope so.

Looks like I will be going back in for an update sometime

As the days go on, it sounds like my voice is deteriorating a little and I think I will be heading back in for a tune up. But it was not too bad. The toughest part will be to schedule it around my chemo again. Just thought I would let you know. The voice was good for a few days, but it seems to be slipping back a little.

Sunday morning changes

Well shortly after I finished writing this morning things took a turn down south. When I woke up I had a real bad back ache and actually noticed I was having a difficult time breathing. I tried the hot pad and some Ibuprophen thinking that it was just a minor thing. It wasn't and got worse. By the time I woke Julie at 8:00 I realized that I had some serious back pain and breathing was very tough. The thought of going back to the E.R. was so unpleasant that I wanted to just try and ignore it, but my wonderfully inspired wife defended the decision to go over anyway. By the time we got to the hospital, I was a wreck. They took me right back and started running tests. The doctor was concerned about the blood clot possibility since we had just gone 6 days without the coumadin and he was also concerned about the possibility of pnemonia. So we did everything including a cat scan. All of these eventually came back negative and we were glad to get a clearance to go home.

But in the process, we figured something out. I had been enjoying the visit from my family so much, I let a regular procedure (that we have been doing for months now) slip. My fentanyl patch was two days over due for it's changing which basically meant that it was doing nothing for my pain. I guess I had become too used to the relief it has been bringing me and when it stopped working, I didn't put that symptom into it's perspective. Also, I had sat in a different chair all day yesterday and I think my back just couldn't adjust that quickly or something. All combined, I ended up needing to verify that this close to the throat surgery, it was best to let them (the doctors) do their jobs and determine that there was really nothing wrong that needed attention at this point.

Not what I thought I would be doing this morning and we just barely got back to take pictures and send my sister and family on their way back to Salt Lake. So thanks to Judy and Matthew and their family for answering my prayers, coming down to visit, and bringing Stacie. It was another marvelous "non-chemo" weekend. Absolutely wonderful on the party meter it ranked right up there near the top.


Stacie, Julie, Baldy, Judy, Mattew. Loving em all.


All the kids went swimming at the SHAC too.

Thanks everyone.

Sunday morning thoughts....again

It is early Sunday morning again and I love to have time to myself to think and contemplate the wonderfulness of life. And since I have been given a second chance on life, I think about it a lot. This past weekend has been full of life and my sister and her family (as well as my niece Stacie) have brought new life to me again. Not just by coming and visiting me, but by the spirit of love and peace and hope that they bring with them. I never knew how much you can feel it if you are in tune. They came down and we played games (I love a party) and we had a great visit. But through it all, I felt an overpowering feeling of love and concern for both me and my wife and I have always just thought of them (Stacie included) as one of my relatives that I was certain were praying for me. Instead I believe that Heavenly Father has sent angels (I have a lot of them on both sides helping me) to teach me and prepare me as well as help Julie and I through some pretty tough times. My family has been there for me through all this. My parents came down earlier for my surgery as well. The tiny miracles that have been granted me lately (Judy taught me to call them seagulls too) are too many to consider as coincidences.

(Our usual is Golden Corral, but to be different, they decided to try Chuck a Rama instead.)

There were a lot of lessons that I have been taught this week. One is that my parents love me unconditionally and my dad has sometimes has a hard time showing it, but I know that he does and he tries to show it in his own way and this week he did better than ever. Mom is just mom and she has never had a hard time showing her love. I guess my challenge has been to show it back. I was so grateful to have them here. Another lesson I learned is that a lot people's efforts to help me in the past (and now) were not just efforts to help, the were directed, inspired, responses to promptings from the Holy Ghost and often direct answers to prayers. I also learned that I am still weak in my communications with my Heavenly Father. I find myself falling into that trap again where we call upon the Lord when we are in trouble and desperate for his help, and then when things start going better we tend to forget to express our gratitude the way we should. It isn't that I am not grateful, I simply forget to express it as often as I should. That will be my goal this week as I get ready for another chemo treatment. I want the Lord to know that I am grateful and not just waiting for the next crisis to get on my knees and say "Help me now Lord, I am in pain". My soul is overcome now with shame for my lack of consistency, but again the beauty is I keep being given second chances. I will not miss out on them.

I also wanted to thank my home teacher for doing his job admirably. I called at the last minute and he ran right over and did exactly what I wanted him too. He is a fountain of knowledge concerning the history of St. George and I love to hear the stories. So since Stacie is a history major and Judy and her family seemed interested I asked him to come over and share some stories. He came right over and did a great job. Entertained us for over an hour and I was loving it. Thanks Bro. Jennings. Demonstrated how to do home teaching right. You can report a good visit this month (along with the others).
....more thoughts and pictures later.....

We always make time for games.......


The kids went for a quick hike before they went swimming
(can you see them just above the neighbor's roof)

Pictures

Here we go.......


I had fun getting the doctors and nurses to pose with Katie's little dog, but really it was great to get this over with and be successful.

Nurse that "prep"ed me with the IV.

Signed more forms but they say it is important.

Doctor Gardner that gave me my voice back.
Thanks so much doctor.....

Mom checking in after the surgery. Note...... laptop was there too to keep you updated...lol.

UMMM Hospital food......no problem eating after either.

Katie coming to rescue her doggie......He helped me get through it all.

Hope you enjoyed the visit and it worked as some of you have heard.

Continued update

It is now 6:00 am the day after surgery. My blood sugar count shot sky high after surgery (not sure why) but with insulin every couple of hours we got it back down through the night. All the other vital signs seemed to be good and I think they will run the blood thinning test first thing to check that this morning and if all goes well, I should be able to go home fairly quickly. For those of you that have checked out of a hospital, you know I am saying that with the old proverbial "tongue-in-cheek". I did actually get a couple of hours sleep in between test and pokes and walks last night so I am feeling fairly good this morning. I am sure when I get home, I will be pretty tired and need a good nap today, but I am so pleased with the way things went. The nurses were great again (trying to get their picture too this morning, but Katie took her stuffed animal doggie home when they came to visit so it will have to just be the nurses if I can get them to come in for a picture).

It appears to have been successful as could be at this point, and they will monitor it for a while and see if they got the right amount of injection (meaning that they pushed it over far enough) and if they did, I will have my voice back for a while. They warned this may not fix everything permanently, but it will be great as long as it does. I ate dinner last night and didn't even choke once or feel like the water was going to go down the wrong place at all. So that part seems to have been fixed with the voice as predicted. Time will tell I guess.

More updates later (with pictures for Gary B. .... he said he just reads the blogs for the pictures.....lol .... but I think he was referring to his kids blogs and pictures of his grandkids)

I have a voice!!!!!!!

The doctor just came in and we tested counting to 10 for the first time and I can talk. It sounds great but I am supposed to not talk for a day or so to keep the stuff they injected leaking back up, but folks...... the prayers worked and I heard my voice again....... Woo hoo it worked......

Yippeeeeee,

I am so excited......

Surgery complete

So here I am sitting in my hospital bed after surgery. Doing great. As promised, it was a quick procedure, but the person ahead of me this morning had complications so I didn't get started till after noon even though I checked in at 9:30. I just laid in the prep bed for a couple of hours. When they finally got me in there they put the gas on me it went really quick. The next thing I knew I was waking up in the recovery room, and I thought they had not finished so I kind of freaked a little. It was weird coming out of the anesthetics. But after a couple of minutes I oriented myself and from then on it was gravy. I recovered there quickly and I was wheeled down to my room for the night just a little after 3:00. It is now 4:30 and I have had 2 cups of broth, 2 cups of red jello and a popsicle. I feel great and wish I could try talking but the doctor doesn't want me to talk for 24 hours so I have to write on a clip board to the nurses and everyone unless Julie is here and she can interpret my (really bad) sign language. I can do a lot better than writing so, I sign, Julie laughs at my signing and then tells the nurses what I want or need. It sort of works.

We accidentally ended up with one of Katie's little stuffed animals in my blanket when I got here so we decided to take pictures for her with the little dog. It will be fun for her to know that her dog went with me to the hospital and we have pictures to prove it. It will be fun for her and you all will probably get a good laugh at me as well taking pictures in the hospital and getting all the doctors to pose with me and a stuffed animal. As soon as I can get them downloaded, I will post them.

So I am supposed to be in here overnight and the way things are going, I see no reason that they won't release me first thing. So I will update as it goes along.

Parents know best

My folks drove down from Salt Lake to be here and we just had a great day today and I was sad it had to end, but I probably need to get some sleep for the procedure tomorrow. This procedure really isn't a huge deal (I have to convince myself too) but I appreciate everyone's prayers and all. We spent the afternoon playing card games and then they came back over tonight and we played some more with the kids. Justin actually won "for the first time in his life"....lol. Then mom and I talked for hours which was a small miracle in itself. Between her health and mine, I was surprised when I saw the time and realized what we accomplished. Sad it had to end but so grateful for the time we could share. Dad just fell asleep sitting upright on the couch but that was good for him too.

Anyway, I just wanted to thank everyone again for the support and the prayers and God willing I will be "talking" to you all soon.

Surgery scheduled

Just got the word. Surgery is scheduled for 9:30 am tomorrow morning. I will stay in the hospital over night and should be back the next morning if all goes well. Thanks to my mom and dad who drove down again from Salt Lake yesterday to be with me and thanks to everyone for their prayers. I also just heard from Dr. Barton and he said the "echo" looked ok and cleared the way on everything else.... so away we go. If all goes well this will be a quick fix and I won't choke any more and possibly be able to talk again. That will be great to talk again for the first time after 6 months.

As I go into this surgery, I have to admit that I have thought long and hard about the past few months and how my life has changed. Many have made mention of the fact that they are impressed with my attitude. I have also told many of you that have come to visit that I never imagined I would react this way to this kind of news (of having cancer). No it has not been easy. Yes, I have had hard times when I felt I could not go on (especially that first chemo treatment), but through it all, my testimony of my Savior, and now my personal relationship with my Heavenly Father, has given me the strength and ability to endure through these hard times and made it possible for me to have the attitude that you all say I have. Really though, it doesn't change anything if you become bitter other than make you more miserable. And I would prefer to not be miserable. Also, my angel wife has been there every step of the way which has helped me in so many ways, but especially in my attitude (well I almost think what she has done for me physically is even greater). I will never be able to repay her for what she has done but I will just try and love her like she deserves.

So to all of you who read this blog for the feelings I might let slip through, there are a few... ( I had someone joke that they just look at my blog for the pictures.....I liked that one... it made me laugh). As for those that are just after the update, I put it first. For every one else, please accept my testimony and I am announcing that my new (sort of long range) goal is to be in Salt Lake at my sister Holly's home coming from their Mission Presidency (hope that doesn't make them "trunky". My new (short range goal) is to come up to Salt Lake in February for a huge get together with my family and friends. So you can tell I haven't given up at all. I am still fighting this thing and if it be God's will, I will endure a while longer. If it isn't his will then I will accept whatever he wants me to do. In the meantime I am just so grateful for my second chances with my family. I thank him daily for that.

Pictures as promised

I love visitors on my "good" weeks.....

As promised a few more pictures of my visitors and then I get to brag about my son. First thanks so much to Lee and Sharon Westover who dropped in at the same time as I was visiting with another good friend from High School.

We all had a very good visit and I am really going to rely on Sharon and her experience in caring for cancer patients. I know the Lord has prepared her as she has been able to help several families in related situations. Now, you could say it was "coincidence" that we happened to have our kids set us up on facebook and then we happened to find each other and then she happened to have first hand experience in supporting and caring for friends with cancer. You could say that if you wanted and hadn't read my last blog entry, but you won't find me saying it. Thank you Lord for sending my friends to me when I need them.

And I need to apologize to Brian. I thought I had told him about this whole thing (after all he is my car insurance guy) but when he called yesterday to say he was down in St. George and wondered if I wanted to go golfing, I realized I was going to have to apologize a lot. So again Brian, I apologize. I felt bad when I told him and kind of ruined his weekend but thanks for coming over to visit (even if we couldn't get out golfing - Lee or Gary will fill in for me I'm sure).

JUSTIN:
Now about my son........ he is so good. From the picture you can see he is first chair in the cello. While that is neat at first glance, you need to understand, he is in 9th grade and this is the "All County Honors orchestra" performance. He also plays with the High School orchestra and is first chair there too. I was so happy to be there last night and that the Lord gave me the strength to stay for the whole thing. I just love hearing him play and he is such a cool kid.


Thanks Justin for the great night of music. I am truly, truly blessed to have a second chance and make up for all the performances and things I missed last year when I was in Rapid City away from my family. You never realize how much it means until it is taken away (as they say) and I was able to have a second chance. Not many people do.


I made it to the very end and even got a picture after with me and my boys....... yahoo. Now it is back to bed and recover....lol.

Tender Mercies - Tiny Miracles

More friends come to visit.... picture proof in a few minutes. Thanks to all the friends that have accepted the challenge of squeezing in a visit while I am feeling good. It helps to have my "good chemo week" be extended. It has been a very satisfying couple of days (golf helps a lot....lol i just wish I had been able to actually swing the club....). This morning, I have been lying awake contemplating some of the discussions I had with my dear friend Dan and his family. His wife Susan related a neat story of a miracle that happened to a friend of hers (and chemo), and again when the conversation contains that much spiritual feeling, it is easy to be touched and affected by it. But then as we were talking some more, we decided that there is another aspect to God's love that is often overlooked (I find myself included in this mistake). Some people call them "tiny miracles" or some of the brethren in conference have also referred to them as "tender mercies". These experiences very often are discounted or discarded as coincidence or "just happened" type scenarios. But as I live longer (day by day is starting to feel more week by week for me now) and I am re-focused on things that matter, I have become acutely aware that those coincidences, very rarely are that (coincidences).

The problem with most of our lives is that by the time we have a chance to recognize something like a tiny miracle that may have happened to us, the unimportant things (that is just what I will call them now) in our lives take over and we aren't able to really recognize it for what it was or is. Also (like my dear friend Sharon said in her visit yesterday) often we have to wait till we get around the next corner before we are able to look back and comprehend (even a little) what the importance of the experience was to us in the first place. As I thought about the events of the past few days and took some time this morning to review some of the things that I experienced, I realized how many of the day to day events had actually been a tiny miracle that we all just accept as part of daily living.

In a way this is what happens to us in listening to the spirit as well. So often the spirit tries to guide us and give us direction, but we are so bombarded with "life" in general and with "lesser important" aspects of living that we start to not recognize the spirit when it does try and help us. At these times we miss out on great learning or growing opportunities or we sometimes even make mistakes that we wouldn't have to make at all. But as my dad was famous for saying "Jim.... did you learn anything from that?" ...... and I realize once again it was an experience I learned from so it wasn't a waste at all. Don't you just love finding out how smart your parents really were. If only we knew. Now if only my kids would think that about their dad too.....lol.

Ok random thoughts for my "4:00 am - can't sleep cause I got too much on my mind - time frame of a Sunday morning......."

Pictures will follow as soon as I download them. I will also tell about Justin's "all - county" orchestra concert last night. Thanks to my oxygen tank and a nice little pain pill, I was able to sit through the entire concert and watch my talented kid perform. I am excited to tell you about that. So stay tuned.....and thanks for listening this morning......

Tee time 3:00 today????

Dixie Red Hills Course was beautiful and warm... wish I had been there......




















Is it true????















This sure beats the snow and the buffalo in Rapid City. Thanks for taking me Gary.........












I had some people ask about the buffalo so I figured I would add it here. When I went to Rapid City (a year ago last Nov) the Finance Director there invited me and my boss to dinner. He has some buffalo and so we took this picture to let everyone in St. George know what they were missing out on up there. That is the story .....


And that is the picture......

Yippee .....more visitors

The Furners......

Today was very very special. This morning, one of my life long, very very special friends brought his family over and we had a tremendous visit. I found that Dan and his beautiful wife Susan (she hasn't changed a bit) have raised some wonderful kids who were very interested in our spiritual discussion as well as pretended to be interested in my "ramblings on" about myself (and those who know me, know that is my favorite subject). I really think his kids are great and I am so glad I got to know them (at least the 3 he brought). Libby, Catie, and now I will forever be mad at his boy (Sam) because he let me play with his I-phone and I want one bad....... Dan why did you tell him to go get it......lol.....now I am focused on figuring out how to get one. I think I will set up a fund at Zions bank that people can contribute to to help with my obsession..... I mean my medical stuff.... I mean.... well.... i will let you know what I work out. (Sorry if I didn't get the kid's names right)

I sure do appreciate Dan's friendship. We grew up together since I moved to Murray in the 6th grade. He was the best friend anyone could ever have asked for. He lived across the street but was a year younger in school. That never stopped us from developing a lifelong bond and even now I feel a closeness with him that I know will last way beyond this life. And his sweet wife is just as special. I know that the Lord will bless them because they are trying so hard to do hiswill as well. And thanks Susan for the uplifting story as well. They got us some lunch and his boy is a man after my own heart and jumped all over my suggestion of Cafe Rio. We sat out back in the beautiful St. George sunshine (about 55 degrees today) and had a great visit outdoors as well. I love it here in St. George (as I have mentioned) and this reminded me of at least one more reason why I am glad the Lord knows the bigger picture, didn't sell our house, and am happy to submit my will to his.

Anyway Dan and I have many many great memories of our childhood. In fact his wife referred to the stories she has heard of our childhood, as "our version of Camelot" and indeed looking back there were times where we had our Lancelots and Guniveres, our knights and tons of lovely maidens...... So the question I pose to you all that were there...... Who was King Aurthur?

Anyway thanks for fantastic visit. I sure love you guys too and I appreciated the visit more than I can express......

My day of independance

Ok, so...... today was a test and I passed with flying colors. Julie found out that her best friend (Angel Teresa) who saved her several times through this ordeal of mine, needs a return favor in Salt Lake. Teresa's father-in-law passed away and Teresa needs some help this time in return. We tried to figure out how to send the help virtually, but we couldn't see how without driving to Salt Lake. If you read my blog all the way through, you remember the last time I told Julie I would be fine if she went to Salt Lake (she needed to get away for a few days) I didn't do very well. In fact I bawled like a baby, called her cell phone, and made her come back a day early. So I knew I couldn't do that again if I was going to let her go again.

So today was a test. Dr. Barton's office called yesterday and said he wanted to get an echo-cardiagram done and they had scheduled it for 7:00 this morning. I decided I would use this as a test to see if I could be independant enough to convince myself she could leave for a couple of days. I called the hospital registration yesterday afternoon (myself), whispered through the registration (myself), got up at 5:30 am (myself), got dressed (yes myself and my levis... not pajamas), drove Justin to school (you guessed it), got to the hospital, checked in, had the test, drove home and got back in bed (myself) after we got Katie off to school and I finished rocking and reading. (This is not a hamburger commercial I promise).

So based on that, I feel like I am ready to try it again. Also if there is any need, my good friends from Salt Lake will be here this weekend and have agreed to back me up if needed. Plus I always can have Josh and Justin. But this past week has shown me that I can do a lot more than I could have done just a few weeks ago. At this time, I feel good and Julie is going to go help her friend in return.

No results from the tests yet, but the technician thought everything was good.

Rocking chair

Katie is off to school, I rocked in the chair till the sun came up. Read my scriptures and had a wonderful experience of warmth as I did. Life is good (even better at 8:00 than 4:00 am) and I know that I am loved. Just think of it though, if you are reading this then at least one person loves you too.........

I love you all.

Early morning thoughts

As I am sitting in my work chair this morning (4:00 am is too early for the rocking chair / sun experience), I am given a chance to reflect again on the wisdom and blessings of Heavenly Father in my life. We are working on the financial aspect of this situation and I am trying hard again to trust in the Lord on all things. When it appears as if the doors are closed to us and we begin to question the Lord, a different door opens and I am humbled again at my weakness in my ability to trust in him to take care of me. I have faith, but it is weak at times. Sometimes I am just plain weak in all aspects of my life.

I try and remember how bad I felt when I realized my lack of trust in the Lord as the doctor in Rapid City gave me the options for chemo treatment locations. He said that since my cancer was inoperable and uncurable I could basically get the treatment in Rapid if I wanted but to be "with family" and I had family in Salt Lake, I could get the treatment at the Huntsman Cancer institute. Or (and I remember well the strong witness I felt) I could go "home" to St. George and they had a fine facility there. When he said the words "home to St. George" I felt a small prick of the heart (maybe it was just a little bit in the lungs too....lol) as I realized how Julie and I had been frustrated and tried to counsel the Lord and explain to him that for almost a year we had done everything he had asked us to and yet we had no luck or help in selling our house. But all of a sudden I realized that because of his "bigger picture" ability I had a "home" (not just a house) to go to and it has been one of the greatest blessings in my recovery. Again I feel humbled and I decided I needed to express my feelings because I find myself wavering slightly when it does not seem like it can work out but I need to have faith that the right doors will open.

I do have faith and so instead today I am going to focus on the fact that I have been given one more day and one more chance to show my faith. I am working on it. Don't anyone give up on me. I am weak, but I am not going to give up either. It is going to be a beautiful day no matter what........
I love you all.....

Status update

Lots of changes and some will mess up plans I was making. On the other hand, it is going to open some opportunities that weren't there before. First the really good news. Dr. Te decided to postpone the chemo treatment this week until after the throat surgery on the 21st. So the good news is that it will give me another week and a half of feeling great. The bad news is that I had several things scheduled around the next good "third week" of chemo and it is all changed. So I now have to go back to the re-schedule mode but I will figure out how to make it work somehow. I am so excited to have another week of feeling good. I enjoyed last week so much. In fact last night after our Sunday dinner with Josh and Kirby, when they sat down to play games, I actually felt good enough to play with them. I have to admit, I was pretty worn out this morning and when we went to IV therapy for the tests, I fell asleep for about a half hour, but it was so worth it.

So as it stands now, the surgery is scheduled on the 21st and the next chemo treatment is scheduled for Thurs. the 29th. Sorry Judy, but let's figure out something. And Russ we may have to work the presentations around just a little bit if we can. I hope we have time.

As for my thoughts on all this. I am being blessed beyond belief and yesterday I was able to sit through all of church and even talked with a lot of people after the meeting. It was wonderful to be able to do it two weeks in a row. I now have set a new goal. I let Julie in on it last night and her reaction was positive so I just have to work hard. My next goal is to get doing well enough in the next month to set up a trip to Salt Lake. I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but for me it will be next to amazing and I am determined to do it. So get ready because I know I can do it and I am going to. I will keep you posted. In the meantime, I think that the Lord is giving me a chance to enjoy my family even more than last week. I plan on thinking of lots of good things to do with them this week amd next until my surgery.

I am so blessed sometimes I can't believe it.

More Sunday morning thoughts

I really enjoyed my rocking chair this morning. When the sun came up through the window today it seemed to be an especially bright color of white instead of yellow. I thought it seemed appropriate for Sunday and made me think about my blessings again. Particularly how lucky I am to have this third week after Chemo when I can enjoy some decent days and feel a little bit normal for a few days. So here is a little recap of some neat highlights.

It has been a marvelous week for me. Several people came and visited. I really enjoyed their visits including Cory and James from my old work. Then Friday when we just all went to lunch after my doctors it brought back a lot of memories (including Marc being too busy to join us....lol... we missed you Marc).

My uncle John (yes he is my uncle and we have always been close since we are the same age.)

stopped by on his way through to Mesa and we had a great chat too. I just love visitors on this third week. I am going to have to start scheduling more of them in advance. I truly do love people and the good spirits they bring here. I hope that in some small way I can lift their spirits like they do mine.

One of my friends from the City's golf course came over on New Year's eve to bring some of his mom's special cake for me. He knew I had cancer but wasn't aware it was lung cancer. We have been trying to get him to quit smoking for years now, and when he realized what I had it caught him a little bit by surprise and really shook him. He said he had been planning on quitting for a New Years' resolution. I told him if he needed any help to just think about what I was going through and it may help him quit. Well apparently it did more than that. When he stopped by this week to pick up his mom's pan, he said it really upset him for days and he couldn't sleep and would wake up in the night (if he ever got to sleep) with someone telling him he had cancer and was going to die and everything. I felt bad about that and I am glad that finally stopped for him but I told him it was one of the best things he could have done for me was to tell me he had no problem with the smoking now. I was ecstatic and I hope it keeps that way for him. I decided that if I can just help him to have a better, longer, happier life that I will feel truly blessed again to be able to use this challenge I have to help others focus on the important things. As my good friend Josh says.... What a blessing.

Katie had won a reward certificate from school for that Pirates Cove pizza place and yesterday mom told her she could take her two twin friends (also partially deaf) with her for lunch. At the last minute I decided there was absolutely no reason that I couldn't go with them so I did. It was so fun to feel somewhat normal. I ordered a salad bar and had some of Julie's breadsticks. They let us sit in this little enclosed area with a table for a small group in a little cove like area and it was just us in there which I really appreciated. So except for the fact that I was in my pajama bottoms, wearing slippers, with an oxygen tank wheeled in front of me, and an oxygen tube in my nose, a hat covering a bald head, and a coat on the whole time (it was a little cold inside), I felt just as normal as everyone else......lol..... Only a few kids stared at me, but it is funny how people don't know how to react to a cancer patient. I almost find it comical sometimes because I used to be one of those who didn't react well so I don't fault them. You don't know whether to look or smile or acknowledge their presence or what. Just a little note to you all. At least for myself I don't mind when someone smiles at me and nods or says hello. But it is amusing when people go out of their way to try and not even look. I assume they are trying not to call attention to the person and that is fine too I guess. Anyway I just saw that a lot yesterday. But bottom line, as for the outing it was tremendously fun. I love getting out and making memories now with my kids.

For breakfast this morning when Katie said the blessing on the food she thanked Heavenly Father for making the cancer get stopped and then she prayed that he would make the cancer go away. I decided I am going to go with her on that one. She has a lot of faith too and I want to hang on her faith for a while. She made french toast and set the table all by herself for us. I just love her. (Here she is with me at the deaf ward).


The rest of the week was full of good phone calls, lots of supportive e-mails and even a chance to reconnect with my cheerleading partner Darcy from High School. Talk about a good week. I sure love you all and I am really appreciating all of you more and more.

I hope you all receive the blessings in store for you in return for all you are doing for me.

Update on surgery

Doctor Barton seems to think that we are ok to go ahead so we after he talks with Dr. Te and Dr. Gardner we will get the surgery time locked in. Right now it will be some time on the 21st.

After the doctor I went to lunch with the guys from the City IT dept again. IT was just like old times again except Josh didn't tell any good jokes......