Concert was awesome

I made it through the concert and it was awesome. Josh even had a solo part and did a terrific job. I think we blew it though because we got so caught up in the concert we forgot to take any pictures and we even remembered to take the camera. Oh boy are we sorry. Anyway Josh was great and Kirby did some percussion stuff for them. Great fun and I made it all the way to the end of Josh's songs. Gotta love my "morphine sticks". Congrats you two.

Little by Little

Well it seems to be true. Every day I get feeling better and better. Yesterday, we went to a spa place where Julie and Katie played tennis and I watched. It was good to get out and then we went to the hottub and I actually put my feet in and it felt so good. One of the side effects of both chemo and diabetes is you can lose some of the feeling in your feet and so since I have both, it is a for sure thing that my feet are always tingling and feel cold. Most of the time it feels like I have hundreds of tiny needles pushing up from the bottom and when I walk it makes it even worse. Anyway, the hottub helped take some of the needles away so I think I will try and go as often as I can with them. It helped Julie feel better too. We had a good time all together. Katie even met a new friend in the hottub. A girl that knew a little sign language and tried to sign with her. After a few minutes, we found out she was Justin's drama teacher at the middle school. What a small world.

Today I am resting as much as I can to get ready for Josh's concert tonight. I really want to see it. So we are praying hard for some extra strength for tonight. I will let you know how it goes.

Finally

After many many days of no better changes, I think today is better. I walked with Julie's dad yesterday up the street and it wore me out a little but I think it was good too. I feel a little bit better today and have actually been able to get out of bed for a while. I am hoping this is the first day of the upward trend. Will keep you posted.

Today's update

I am still extremely tired and all I do is sleep it seems. It seems like that part never gets any better. Julie's dad is here "tending" us and so far he has spent quite a bit of time paying attention to Katie because i have just been sleeping. But Katie has kept him pretty busy playing "Sorry" (the board game) and making three different things for lunch that Katie says taste weird so she won't eat (he thinks they taste fine). I tried to get up and go for a walk up and down the circle, but all it did was make me even more tired. I am totally exhausted now. I am trying to stay sitting in my chair, but I keep looking at my bed next to me and wondering if it is really calling me or if I am just hearing voices like I used to. I thought years and years of therapy got rid of the voices.

I am so glad they came down and I hope Julie has a good break with her mom. Sometimes all you need is your mommy to make things all better.

New test

I guess the Lord decided we didn't have enough trials and tests, so he blessed us with the flu. While Brittany was here over the weekend, Katie picked up the flu bug somewhere. She started throwing up Saturday. So we are quarantined into our rooms and poor Julie has been pushed to the limit. Luckily her parents are coming down today and try and give her a break. Her Dad is going to "tend" us (me and Katie) and her Mom is going to take her out for "Julie day". I am so glad. She needs a break. One of us dependent, whining, needy patients is enough to do anyone under, but now two is what I would consider cruel and unusual punishment. My thanks goes to them even before they get here. Julie is so looking forward to it.

Sunday

And so it drags on. I am glad I had a few good weeks and lots of people visit because this treatment effects keeps hanging on longer than before. I may not have a good week this time. Even today I was barely able to get some food in me but all I want to do is sleep, and sleep, and sleep. I hope I get a turn around soon. If not, I will have very little time to feel better before we go back to it again. Yukkky. Still have a bit of a bad attitude.

Last night I also had a terrible bout of fear. After Julie went to bed, I had a great fear come over me and the worst part was I didn't know what I was afraid of. But until I laid down next to Julie I was almost completely overcome with fear. After laying by her for 10 minutes and saying a prayer, I finally felt better and went to bed on my side, took my pills and went to sleep. Still don't know what it was, but I know I didn't like it. I hope it doesn't come again.

Well time for my afternoon nap (like my Dad says).

Makes you wonder

You know, I just finished watching the Jazz game they dedicated to Larry Miller and have watched several of the tributes to him and they keep showing the doctor for Larry who makes the point that they could have had him around for 20 or 30 years more if he had taken care of himself before. So obviously I have decided that I am going to do everything I can (especially because I have diabetes as well), but it makes me wonder 2 things; 1) If there was anything in my life that I could have done to prevent this cancer or 2) if it is God's will could anything I do affect it before or after. It makes me wonder but I am still committed to doing everything I can to prolong my time which includes taking care of myself, eating better, and doing the insulin like I should. Just thinking...... and maybe I shouldn't think so much.

I am sorry

I guess I am in trouble for not keeping up with the blog. I apologize to those of you who like to read it, but I couldn't get myself to write anything this whole week while I was in the hospital and honestly I am not really in the mood right now either, but since I have been alerted by several people as to the importance in their lives of reading my blog, I will try. I will start with the hospital info and then talk about a couple of other things.

Last weekend. I was having some concerns about my breathing and also some chest pains that were more than normal or at least different. So Sunday morning, after trying to drain again with only minimal success Julie again felt that we should go into the ER. So early in the afternoon we tested our theory again. Normally when you go into the ER and you could have a bone sticking out someplace and they make you fill out registration stuff and sit out in the open area for at least an hour. But we found the trick. You look sickly (not to hard for me), walk in hunched over and tell them you are having chest pains and a hard time breathing. Every time we do that , they immediately put me in a wheelchair and call for an open room. I was back in a bed laying down within 5 minutes and the registration lady came back and got the information from Julie while she was in the room with me. So now you know how to beat the system. I think the people who were in the waiting room were ticked off pretty good.

After several tests and an x-ray and a cat-scan, Dr. Te was called and he agreed that I should be checked in. A good part of that was because my blood thinning was out of control again. It is supposed to be aound 2.x and this time it was even higher than the last time. IT was just over 6.0. We said hi to all our friends on the way (we know about half the people there now) and when we got onto the third floor, about half the nurses said welcomed us back again too. Then they started doing a lot of different tests and eventually a lung specialist come in and start looking into my situation. I did some lung tests, they had me on antibiotics, and lots of other drugs. The best thing was that all I had to do was tell them the pain was coming back and they would bring in a desert tray full of pain killers and say "what kind would you like today?". I could choose between fentynil sticks or IV, or a couple others that I didn't go for or my drug of choice...... morphine. With my port-a-cath accessed, drawing blood and injecting drugs is quick and easy. It is going to be tough to going back to having to wait.

After the results came back from some of the tests for the lung specialist they found a second infection they didn't know about and finally got my blood back to the thinness is was supposed to be at. I guess cumedin is not an art. It is sometimes tricky to get it right. The worst thing about this trip to the hospital was my attitude and how tired I was. Several people came to visit and I didn't even stir (which is very unusual for me) and I slept a lot. I mean a lot. This made me very frustrated bacause I could not spend much time awake with Julie. I told her she might as well go home and take care of the kids at home. Unfortunately, this happened to be one of those times when I found I really needed her. I feel like a wimp at those times, but I don't care anymore. I really missed her and spent one night crying most of the time I was awake. Luckily I slept more than I cried. The next night she stayed with me later and only went home after I fell asleep. I love her so much and I now hate the hospital even more. After several days, lots of test, x-rays, and about every nurse in that place checking my breathing, taking my vitals, and 15 bazillion pills they let me go home. Just before I left, I started to feel quite naseaus again, but I took an anti pill and waited till I could sit up enough to get in the car and made a break for it. Got home ok but went straight to bed and fell asleep immediately.

End result: It was a tough way to find it, but I think it was critical that we went in and Dr. Te called in the Lung specialist because he found the second infection that needed a different anti-biotic and they also re-verified several things that had been a concern to me like the fluid in the heart area and lung area. I was happy about that.

I do have to compliment the people at the DRMC also know as the IHC Hospital here in St. George. The doctors and nurses were very good and very friendly. They get an A for service.

When I got home and finally turned the computer on and checked mail and things, I read my friend Megan's update on her surgery and realized that I was pretty blessed to get in and out with the little bit I went through and again I immediately said another prayer for her. Bless her soul, she is a great inspiration to me. She has a great spirit and and a great husband. Like me, if we didn't have the great spouses we do, we would never make it and I know it. God bless you Josh H. and thanks to my lovely wife Julie. Megan our prayers are with you and hopefully you will be out soon too.

I will write more in a bit, but for now, I am too exhausted.

Be back soon I hope. At least the weather is nice and oh hey I almost forgot..... Brittany drove down for the weekend. It is so great to see her. I think I will go give her another hug. Love her a lot.

Ha .... fooled you all

Just when you (and I) thought I was on my way back, I fooled everyone and decided to have chest pains and shortness of breath enough that Julie listened to the spirit and ....... even though I fought it all day we finally went to the ER around 1:30 in the afternoon and after some testing and checking and cat scans and all, they decided to check me back in again. My blood thinning must be going really well cause it is back up to 6 (should be around 2 -2.3) and last time the admitted me before it was only 5 so we beat our old record. I got a little bit of a bloody nose and it wouldn't stop for over 45 minutes. So here we are again and they are checking on some other things especially for infections but I am glad I am here where they can monitor the thinness of my blood until we get it right (again). I can't believe it all goes crazy just when I think I have beat it for this time. The good news is that I have a little appetite back and I have Julie convinced that the only thing I can get to stay down right now is steak. (Good one huh). But it is true and it is also the only thing that sounds good when I think about eating.

It was pretty funny because as we checked in to the ER and then when they wheeled me back to my room (it's the 3rd time I have been on the 3rd floor, we passed about 20 people and almost half of them would get a big smile and say "Hey how are you..... back again I see" We have more friends now in the hospital than we do at our house. Even some guy came up to Julie down in the cafeteria and said, "Hey, aren't you James Cook's wife" a few weeks ago. I guess we are here more than I would suspect is typical. They say you make an impact everywhere you go, but I would think that the hospital is not one to braag about.

Nicole came down for the weekend and it was great to have her, but it was not great because I spent most of the time in bed trying to get better until today when I checked into the hospital. Not fun at all. She had some friends down with her though who stayed at one of their parents condos or something. They had a few activities and parties, so she was ok, but I missed her and hope that next time she (and I) will be able to do something together. I am trying real hard to look at a positive side of this and I guess when I consider what other reasons could have brought me here, I actually do count my blessings (huh Megan). Still praying for you and Josh.

Thanks to everyone who recently sent me an update to their families as well on my e-mail because I love to hear what is happening to all of you. If I end up not sleeping tonight (which is highly likely cause the hospital is the wrong place to try and get any rest) I may be back on the computer and putting down some more thoughts.

Love you all ...... Jim (#5097x) number on my tag......lol.

Sunday thoughts delayed (not morning)

I was laying here this morning (it is actually Monday now) and realized that in some aspects, I am still being selfish and need to learn to think of others and their needs as well as mine. This came to me when my home teacher (from the deaf branch) and very dear friend Bro. Harris finally came over after not coming for a few weeks. I really missed him and (through the Branch President) kind of put a little guilt trip on him and he finally came over last night. As we talked, I realized (as did he) that one of the biggest reasons he hasn't come over is because of his closeness to people (lots of them in his family) who get cancer and then he loses them when they die. He finally found someone that he bonded with (that would be me) and he was afraid to lose me. Well, I totally understand and I realized that he needed time to resolve that in his mind and I started pressuring him to come over before it was resolved. We are ok now and I feel like we both walked away last night from the visit with a good feeling and I love him even more than before, but again I felt ashamed and humbled that I did not think of his feelings or situation. Instead all I cared about was I wanted someone to take care of my loneliness and needs. (I blame it on the medication and I am sticking with it.)

Now update on the week. This week set me back a little and it was a pretty rough one. I spent a lot of the week in bed or in my chair next to my bed. This is not my idea of a good time. Trust me. And because I went into this week's chemo in less than good strength, I think the chemo had an even tougher impact on me. But I think I am on the upswing now. Yesteday (Sunday) I was able to get out twice for a quick walk around the track (that is a little path up and down the street in front of my house that has become my walking trail). I have been able to eat more and it has stayed down and I do not have to have an anti-naseau pill everytime I try and eat anything. This week has left me weak. I have no strength in my legs at all. But I am working on it with the walks. Now if I can get a little more sleep at night, we just may be on our way back.

That is the update. ttyl

Wish I could forget more

I forgot what a trip it is on chemo and I wish I could forget more. It has been so long since I had a "downer week" that I forgot how bad it can be. Actually I do remember how bad it can be from the first time, but I forgot what the next few times were like..... but I remember now. I think I laid in bed all morning and couldn't hardly move (didn't want to either) except to go into the next room for a few minutes and come back to bed. Julie asked me twice how I was doing and I didn't even answer, I just put a "thumbs down" in the air and went back to sleep. I have been able to control the nausea pretty much with the pills. It doesn't make it go away really, it just keeps me from following through. It's tough too because I have pains as well left over from surgery that need medicine to cope. The medicine I need for that usually suggests not to take it without food and food is almost impossible to get down even with the nausea pills. I also am supposed to be drinking lots of fluids to get the chemo out of my body as quick as I can and even drinking anything right now is a challenge.

Like I said, I forgot how much fun chemo can be. But I am not really complaining because I have first hand experience on how much worse it can be and was. I am grateful for medicine, doctors, friends, wives (well mostly mine), family, and most importantly my testimony of my savior. All of these have played a part in my reaction, readjustment, and recovery thus far from the cancer. While my cancer will never go away, I am grateful for the second chance (like I have expressed before) to reconnect and reestablish relationships as well as build new memories with many people friends. So to all of you who have helped me in any way, I wanted to thank you again. You all have been so good to me and supported me in anything I have needed. From the wonderful people in Rapid City, and my friends and family in Salt Lake, to the great people here in St. George and all my friends and relatives I have all over (most of them I found on "facebook" too). I thank each of you for what you have done and I hope and pray that your efforts will be rewarded as much as is possible.

I might not write a whole lot for a couple of days, but know that I love each and everyone of you and love to see your comments and get you e-mails too. Have a "great moment" for me too and share them with me if you want.

Morning after

Well, so far the real bad after effects of the chemo haven't hit yet so I wanted to take some time to share some thanks again. This one goes to my oldest boy Josh and his wife Kirby. He and Kirby were inspired to come over Mon night after they got most of their homework done. Josh and Kirby are both taking classes to graduate from Dixie in the computer program and they also work for the college doing tech support (although in different areas). Two peas in a pod for sure. When they come over, it is the only time I get to talk "geek speek" and every time I do, I feel so much happier. I love my wife with all my heart, but computers have never been something that she has been interested in, other than e-mail, word processing and a few therapeutic games. So, Josh and Kirby are like a shot of adrenalin for me when they come over and visit me.

I was very very apprehensive Mon night (even my wife commented that I was extremely over agitated). They were inspired to come over by Justin hounding them for a new game they introduced to him over the weekend until they gave in and brought it over. But they stayed for a couple of hours and we just talked about their jobs and classes and it completely calmed me down and the best part was discussing their latest episodes at the college. In fact I think Josh has the best (or close to it) "tech support line from a customer" I think I have heard in quite a while.

Josh was trying to help a professor set up some software for his class. The College's IT department finally purchased for him because he was so demanding. He changed his mind regularly on certain aspects like where the computer desks had to be, so wiring became an issue and so forth. He also got so frustrated because he tired to install it himself (the professor) on all the computers in the class when the college had only got a 20 user license and identified 20 machines that it was installed on. So the professor used his own dept money to buy 20 more licenses but not the upgrade that had been applied to the first 20 already (so it was a different version too) and installed the new software himself. Not knowing any of this at the time, Josh began the imaging process the night before it was needed and when he came in the next day, the professor came in and was upset because he couldn't get to the internet after he logged on and couldn't get to his files etc. The only problem with the professor's story was the imaging process had not completed with the reboot so there was no way he could have logged on in the first place and when Josh tried to point this out, Josh explained "your hard drive doesn't even have an operating system on it yet" the professor was very perturbed. I think he may have also realized he had been caught in his own words and no way out so he just got upset and said (you are going to love this one) " I don't need a hard drive, I just need to have this program loaded". Even semi-geeks have to love that one. It has become my new great one liner. Josh tried to be polite and just turned back to the computer and tried not to bust up laughing. Pretty good if they don't need a hard drive. Now all you real techy people are going to immedialtey see that as a challenge and start to figure out how to do it with external storage, and vitual apps and virtual machines, or even going clear into citrix and so on, but if you do figure it out and want to get into it, I will be happy to give you Josh's e-mail. I prefer to enjoy the humor of the principle itself. I have had my share of those experiences as well (nomenclature included).

I am really blessed to have such good kids and Nicole is coming back down this weekend and I am so happy again. I got to talk to Brittany on the phone the other day for almost a half hour and that made me feel better too. My kids are doing everything they can. Even Katie comes in every so often and asks if there is anything she can do. You should know how I feel about Justin too. Wow, when I think about these kids, I realize I have been blessed (maybe more than I deserve) but I am grateful anyway. Maybe it is because I chose the right wife. Ok, that's the one I am sticking with because it is the truth.

They say the truth will set you free, let's see what it will do for my cancer. I have decided to accept the truth. I have cancer. There now let' s see what happens. Wait wait wait........... Nothing yet....... maybe it takes longer....... so I will let you know what happens tomorrow. Until them have a great "5 moment day". Especially you Sharon. I sense you need one today so look for them and report to me later (jk).


Anyway, the whole thing did wonders for me and when I went to chemo yesterday I was calmed way down and ready to do it. I know they stayed a lot longer to talk with me that night because they had to get up early for school, but I love my kids because they also are willing to listen to the spirit and heed the promptings and their visit was just one of those occasions. We do have angels on this side of the veil and I have some that I call my kids. When you see your kids turning out as good as you hoped they would, it helps make it so worthwhile. It is even more exciting when they begin to choose spouses that you feel are also good spirits with good family upbringing and so far our kids have done stellar at that in our minds. We couldn't ask for better than Kirby and Clint for Josh and Brit...........and we haven't given up totally on Nicole yet either.......lol.

Chemo evening

I have just gotten home from the chemo and so far everything went well. IT was typical. Checked in at IV therapy at the old hospital at 8:45 am and got hooked up to the tubes by 10:00. Then it just dripped in all day. We finished the last bag at 4:00 and Julie brought me home. So uneventful. I didn't get sick or anything while I was there. I do think that I was a little bit more tired than before because I was pretty apprehensive last night and didn't sleep well. I don't think I will have a lot of problem making up the time. If all goes as expected, I will have a lot of up and down days but mostly down. I will try and keep it updated here as best as I can. Thanks for everyone's support.

We are a go

In spite of all my attempts to find a reason not to have chemo (lol) we are forging ahead as planned tomorrow with my next chemo treatment. So I am going to head down the bad chemo weeks pathway starting tomorrow. Should be a riot. Hopefully I will be able to keep you posted on some of it.

Ttyl

Sunday Morning - 4:00 in the morning

Today's contemplations:

I have been thinking a lot about a conversation I had with a friend last night who I believe was inspired to come to my rescue and didn't know it. This friend is one of those (like I used to be) who has a lot of spiritual guidance in their life but has chosen to not always accept it as such. They are influenced a lot (like last night) by the spirit and even follow the promptings, but then they have a hard time recognizing the outcome as "tiny miracles" or spiritual guidance. Like last night for instance. I was in a lot of pain and the usual dosage of medication was not enough. I was tired of the pain and was just depressed.

I got on Facebook to see if that would help. I had a few people say hey and ask how I was and I just came right out and said how I felt at the time (pretty crappy) and most of them said oh sorry but were at a loss as to what they should say (I would be too). But after this one friend asked, and I responded, their answer caught my attention and I felt the spirit prompt me to talk to them some more. I didn't know why at the time, but it wasn't long before I realized that I could learn a lot from our discussion and then I also noticed that our conversation was also a tiny miracle (at least to me) and answer to my silent prayer. I had taken more medication but prayed quickly while I did, that I would be able to endure the pain until it went away. Most of the time I would have not put this whole converstion together as the answer to prayer that it was and both of us could easily have counted it as coincidental that we happened to be on there at the same time, etc. Not so anymore as I thought about it this morning.

Last night I was thinking (based on some of their questions) that I might be able to help them, as of this morning's meditations, I realized how much they helped me with those same questions and I thought through again some of the answers they gave me. I realized that I am still living in a very ego-centric world and need to start thinking more often about learning more from others. I was a little bit ashamed of my attitude, and hope that I can do better.

Now I am also grateful for other life long friends. I had my "friends forever" Dan P. and Andrea (another best friend from Qwest) stop and talk for a few minutes. I really needed that visit too and you can mark it off as coincidental if you want but I believe it was another tiny miracle. Some car situations and transportation for some people who were down here for my wife (Teresa and Julie's sister Maria), all of a sudden got resolved. Now Dan and Andrea probably don't know that they were answers to some prayers, but they were. And on top of that it really was great to visit with my old friend Dan. He has always been an awesome exmple to me of a terrific Dad to his kids, and a loving grandpa, as well as a hard worker, and like I said before a long time friend that I always have been able to count on no matter what. I am having a hard time transferring the pictures, but as soon as I can. I will have theirs right here.......lol

(picture of Dan and Andrea coming soon)

Lash out

Getting tired of not feeling well....... I HATE IT..........so there!

Grandma Cook

I mentioned my Grandma the other day in one of my posts. I wanted to say hi to her again and tell you a little bit about her. Grandma is 95 years young. She was always fun to visit because we knew where she kept the fig newtons hidden in the drawer in the kitchen. She always likes to brag about her posterity so I collected it so I could brag for her. Here is the latest count.
Children- 6
Grandchildren - 28 (I fit in here)
Great GrandCh- 94
Gr. Gr. Grandch - 23

For a total of ...... 151 immediate posterity.

She is awesome and a great inspiration to me. Thanks grandma.
(By the way to my relatives, she has Aunt Margie read the blog to her so say hi if you want.)

Voiceupdate

As suspected, we need to do a follow-up injection for my throat. It worked really good for a week and then started backwards a little. The doctor was not too concerned, and we just scheduled the next one for the 25th (so far, but we will see how that goes). I barely made it through the appointment today but I am doing better than yesterday and a whole lot better than the day before. It has been pretty rough and I am grateful again for the pain meds I have. They are about the only thing that gets me through it. That a lot of prayers. So thanks to everyone again.

next update in .........well whenever something happens.....

4 AM Philosophy

RANDOMNESS

Well here we are again at 4:00 like usual. Random thoughts this morning. I wanted to take a minute to thank my other brothers and sisters that have been trying to deal with my cancer in their own ways and I want them to know that I appreciate their efforts and their prayers. We were all taught by our mother and father that prayers work, and I know they do. In my case, I think a lot of us (myself included) were praying for things that were not in God's plan for me. So I am trying to bring his will into my life and make it mine. But anyway, back to my family..... My older brother Keldon who for years has tried to convince me that California (well San Jose) where he lives is the best place to live. I am sure it is for you, but for me right now (picture me in ruby red slippers clicking the heels 3 times) "there's no place like home.... there's no place like home". And that would be St. George today. Home used to be Murray, but mom's dolls chased us all out......lol. My older Sister Holly has her hands full in Cleveland Ohio but their Mission Presidency will be over in.......oops don't get trunky. My younger sister Wendy and I have some drugs in common right now too.... she gets to take coumadin as well. She has her hands full with little Tyler for sure, but he will grow up to be a great kid like his brother Chris. Then Dan.... my little bother as I call him (but it is definitely in jest - DORK). We used to golf a lot together and hope to again someday. He even learned that when you throw your clubs, you throw it down the fairway towards the green so you don't hold everyone up retrieving it. And then Judy. What can we say about her. She doesn't do anything half way. It is amazing what she gets done. She lives right behind David Archeleta (and Judy's house is for sale... don't tell anyone though it is a secret....lol.. it really is not a secret, but it is for sale). Well I hope I didn't say anything bad (I usually screw it up when I am trying to tell people thanks and how great they are. And they are great. Everyone of us are still getting along great. We try to talk with each other every so often (I gotta figure out how to catch Kelly on facebook, but we can't ever seem to be on together. Maybe we will have to schedule it......ahhhh ....nooooooo... be organized????? Not me. So thanks to the Cook kids at least my 5 siblings that are just great and I am so glad I could be in this family. I hope I haven't made things too difficult for you, but I am learning so much, that it actually has moments where I am grateful for this time. I know that sounds weird, but it happens from time to time. I am not happy about what is happening to my body, but to my mind and spirit I am growing a lot. Oh .... that reminds me (my mind), in case I didn't report on it (can't always remember) the MRI showed that the cancer spots on my brain are no worse either so they aren't concentrating on them right now. That is just fine with me.... I got a lot of other places we can focus on. So they tell me.....

I also wanted to say hey to my Grandma Cook who is enjoying some time back east with my uncle Maurice. I am glad they are taking good care of her. I do miss seeing her every so often at reunions and such. In fact her huge reunion she put together at the Homestead a few years ago was a highlight of my life and I will always cherish the memories of the whole thing. Thanks Grandma.

My family is great and I love them all but I better move on......

More later....

Longer update with more detail

When I went to the doctor yesterday we had no idea what to expect with respect to my drain. My drain is simply a plastic tube that they pushed inside the lung cavity area and one end sits inside between the lung area and my chest (this is where the fluid is collecting). I thought there was some sort of filtering device on that end, but we learned last night that the tube just has a lot of holes in it at that end... nothing special. Then if you follow the tube out of the side of my body it has a little receptor hole at the end of the tube out here that you have to put a special connector in to drain the fluid. It is fairly new technology, but I (we) have been so glad to have it. So even with all this new (to me) info, the doctors were unable to determine why mine stopped working. I got into Radiology outpatient / staging area about 2:00 or 2:30 pm and we waited for a long time since they were squeezing us in. I was happy to wait. They finally came in and surrounded my bed and tried to clean the tube, inject saline, and whatever they could do to get it working again. No joy. So at this point (5:30 pm) they decide to take me back to a room where they do a little more involved surgeries. I vaguely remember this room from last October and then I (correctly) remember some recovery pain associated with it as well. The radiology people really know all about this drain and after they got me in the other room vand the doctor that did the original surgery (Dr. Olsen) came in they started pumping some medication into me that was supposed to help me feel better but I believe it was also to make me forget about what was about to happen to me in the next hour. I actually do remember crying out in pain several times throughout the procedure but I don't think Dr. Olsen was too concerned at the time. He never could determine what caused it to stop working so the only option left was to replace it. This they did and sent me back to my room. They observed me for a few more hours and then sent me home. I was happy to get home but later that night (or the next morning however you want to look at it) I was even more grateful for strong pain medication. I haven't had pain like this for a while but more grateful than ever for successful chemo.

It also brings back my respect and admiration for dear Megan and everything she is going through. My prayers are with you again friend. And to your great husband Josh H. my thanks for everything you are doing for her so she can be an inspiration to us all.

So how am I today? Bad enough that I couldn't go to my doctor's apt for proper authorization for chemo tomorrow. No go on chemo. (hey I like that one). There is a cheer for you Judy.....No go on chee mo.... , no go ... on che moo....lol.

Chemo is now rescheduled (again) for next tues. and I just hope that we can get it all under control by then. In the meantime I am sitting in my chair again remembering all the good visits I had and hoping it won't be long before we have more.

So now you know...... and knowing is half the battle (old timers join in ......GI JOE). Those who are old enough