Thoughts on the day

Since I have been "sidelined" for a week with an infection, I was forced to think about "things" again. It is hard to be positive all the time and certain events make you realize that reality must be addressed eventually. It is just the opposite of a newly wed and honeymoon. People always joke about it and say when the honeymoon is over, and reality hits them..... Well you can choose to live in a world where you choose not to address reality but those choices eventually don't work and you have to face reality when the "honeymoon" is over. These things include funeral situations and things like caskets and where and when, burial plots, obituaries, etc.

You know a lot of people do it early and call it being proactive. In fact Julie's parents set a great example for us and have paid for and planned all those events for both of them because they are very practical and he wants to be sure that none of the kids are left with the expenses involved with their funerals and plots. This is looked at positively so even though I feel that I have been granted an extension in life, I also feel that I should take a lesson from that example. So we did take some time to address some of those issues and when my folks came down we resolved a couple of them. I now have a place reserved with my family for burial and some other things started. While this is good, it also takes a toll on you when you know your time is narrowed closer to a known time frame. Everyone always mentions "we all are going to go, we just don't know when and that is actually true for me too. So it is no different really, but for some reason, I find myself being affected by it anyway.

This happened a few days ago when I was having a repeat of Sunday's episode of short breath and pain in my chest. I was glad we had a scheduled appointment with Dr. Te the next day and so far every follow-up test that he has requested to verify if anything has changed has come back negative. So it looks like it more of "pain management" issue than anything new or that we missed except for the infection. Now that would have been very bad in itself, so I am glad that the Lord put the roadblocks on place and I feel the breath and pain episodes that made me go to the E.R. were also his way of ensuring that I did not have a load of chemo that kills the antibodies put into my system when I needed all the antibodies i can get to fight the infection. Not Smart. So I believe the Lord was watching over me again (in spite of myself and my weaknesses).

Anyway when I had my little moment of depression as I moved into (what I now call) my funeral mode, I got inspired by my good friend Sharon again and she made a great suggestion. She first gave me permission to finish my depression and then (I hope she won't mind) she gave me the following directive. She is a real task master anyway, but I wanted to share it with you because I think it is well spoken...

(quote from her email)
So tomorrow I want you to experience 5 moments...moments that you wish you could capture forever and are grateful that you were given the chance to experience them. Perhaps it will be your daughter's giggle, the sunrise, the taste of the best malt in the world (Iceberg's chocolate banana). Then I want to hear what the are tomorrow night!

It worked very well as I decided I was going to do it. I focused on positive things and had a much better day. So since it worked so well for me and I thought it was a good idea for everybody to try (you can start with less than 5 if that is too much). It can have a a positive effect on anyone and that is what I am trying to achieve. Maintain a positive attitude as much as I can. So far I think I have done pretty well, but I do have some moments.