Sunday thoughts delayed (not morning)

I was laying here this morning (it is actually Monday now) and realized that in some aspects, I am still being selfish and need to learn to think of others and their needs as well as mine. This came to me when my home teacher (from the deaf branch) and very dear friend Bro. Harris finally came over after not coming for a few weeks. I really missed him and (through the Branch President) kind of put a little guilt trip on him and he finally came over last night. As we talked, I realized (as did he) that one of the biggest reasons he hasn't come over is because of his closeness to people (lots of them in his family) who get cancer and then he loses them when they die. He finally found someone that he bonded with (that would be me) and he was afraid to lose me. Well, I totally understand and I realized that he needed time to resolve that in his mind and I started pressuring him to come over before it was resolved. We are ok now and I feel like we both walked away last night from the visit with a good feeling and I love him even more than before, but again I felt ashamed and humbled that I did not think of his feelings or situation. Instead all I cared about was I wanted someone to take care of my loneliness and needs. (I blame it on the medication and I am sticking with it.)

Now update on the week. This week set me back a little and it was a pretty rough one. I spent a lot of the week in bed or in my chair next to my bed. This is not my idea of a good time. Trust me. And because I went into this week's chemo in less than good strength, I think the chemo had an even tougher impact on me. But I think I am on the upswing now. Yesteday (Sunday) I was able to get out twice for a quick walk around the track (that is a little path up and down the street in front of my house that has become my walking trail). I have been able to eat more and it has stayed down and I do not have to have an anti-naseau pill everytime I try and eat anything. This week has left me weak. I have no strength in my legs at all. But I am working on it with the walks. Now if I can get a little more sleep at night, we just may be on our way back.

That is the update. ttyl